Queen of Love

“Honey, I’m complimenting you! Paiseh, there I go again, running my big mouth.”

Lisa patted her girlfriend on the shoulder. “You have a lovely mouth.”

“Thank you, darling! Oh, Aya, you have to understand, we call Genevieve all sorts of things but are still her friends. It’s a very Chinese thing to do, which we both are by descent. Although my parents were Chinese-Malay, and… oh, you don’t care! You’re Japanese!”

Aya shrugged. This was already over her head.

“She’s our Queen of Love, you know. She lights up whatever room she’s in. She’s so generous. Also, don’t tell her I said this,” Wendy looked at both Aya and Lisa when she said that, “but it would be nice to see her settle down with someone on her level.”

“What do you mean is she the Queen of Love?”

“She has a reputation. Don’t you know it? She falls in love very quickly, puts the person on a pedestal, and when they don’t uphold this great vision she has of them, runs away crying and acting so morose for months. Her last big breakup was…” Wendy looked around the room. “I shouldn’t say. She’s here.”

Aya didn’t care if she was caught scanning the heads of hair and unfamiliar faces in the increasingly crowded room. As women and their small male entourages stood around gossiping over cocktails, Aya imagined any of the women as Genevieve’s last great love. She would invite her ex here? While I’m here? Aya was used to small dating circles, but this was something else.

“Anyway!” Wendy stalked off, leaving Lisa behind with Aya. “I’ve got to see someone about a powdered nose! Wait for me, sweetheart!”

Lisa nodded, clasping her hands before her stomach as she awkwardly kept her distance from Aya. I have no idea what to make of any of that. Wendy was a wild card, wasn’t she? Did she say things off the cuff because that was her nature? Or was there some ulterior motive? Such as passive-aggressively talking down to Aya and making her feel less than in this environment? It took me a long time to learn passive aggression. That and sarcasm did not come naturally to her when she first moved to America and realized Westerners communicated very differently from Japanese people. She knew some Chinese cultures could be as cutthroat with their jabs and gibes that were presented beneath a saccharin veneer, but now she was thrust into the mix, she couldn’t understand what anyone really meant.

Perhaps that was why Lisa gingerly approached her.

“So…” She cleared her throat, tucking some of her short hair behind her ear as she looked away the moment Aya gave her a sliver of attention. “Do you know why I chose the name Lisa when I started my new life?”

Aya was so caught off guard that she blurted the first thing to come to mind, “Because it’s short for Elizabeth?”

Lisa’s face lit up. Now, Aya had her undivided attention. “Yes! So you know? Most people don’t.”

“I knew quite a few Elizabeths in America. None of them went by that name. There are… a lot of traditional nicknames. Why Elizabeth?”

“Because it was one of the most English names I could think of. Elizabeth, Victoria, Mary… I liked how many names there were for Elizabeth and picked one that suited me. I think so, anyway.”

“It’s very cute and pretty.” Aya did not dare say like you, although she was thinking it. “So, you wanted to be Western?”

“It’s not a nice thing to say out loud, but it was the only way I could fool my feelings into letting go of my past. Not only my career and my fans, many of whom have turned on me, but my family, you know? I was already estranged from them, but I knew my leaving China to be with Wendy would affect them. But I couldn’t let that tether me to a life that made me miserable. Even if I didn’t stay with my Wendy, I had to be true to myself. I like women. I always have. The pressure to conform back home was too great. So, I pretended to be a kentang, like they say here in Singapore.”

“What does that mean?”

“Oh, I think it means ‘potato’ in Malay. It’s someone from here who is very Westernized. They say it in a mean way, but I embraced it. Just like Lady Liu.”

“You mean Genevieve?”

“Yes, yes. They call her kentang ratu when she’s not around. It means Queen Potato.” Lisa blushed. “Wendy calls her that, too. You didn’t hear it from me.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Such an inquiry made Lisa take another embarrassed step back. “I thought you should know. You seem nice. You should know what you’re getting yourself into. It’s… it can be alienating being the odd one out in these circles. Trust me. Mainlanders, no matter how rich or famous they are, are only a bit up the totem pole from you Japanese.”

Aya gritted her teeth. “So I’ve gathered.”

“They don’t mean it. Once you get to know them, you realize they’re all insecure and parroting things their old-fashioned parents have said for years, which is what their parents said… I can be as guilty, but it’s also jarring.”

“Jarring?”

“Oh, you don’t know it? It means…” Lisa tapped her chin. “Sort of shocking. Like you don’t expect it.”

“Jarring,” Aya tested the word on her tongue. It had the two Rs that often tripped her up when attempting to pronounce English words, but the more she said it, the more natural it flowed. “Thank you. I’ll keep all of this in mind.”

“Don’t let it stop you from happiness.” Lisa offered a wan smile as she stepped away. “Believe it or not, I’m pretty happy now. So don’t listen to what others might say about me.”