“Not unless you tell him. And if you do, you know what will happen.”
Our eyes meet, blue and gray clash. “You’ll kill everyone I love. I know.” The Damien from last night or even earlier has vanished, and the usual cold, heartless assassin was back. I drop my gaze from his, shrug my arm out of his hold before I walk to the bathroom. I shake my head and turn on my heel and march back over to him. “You know what, answer me this.” Damien looks back at me and frowns, watching me curiously. “How the hell am I supposed to explain to people what we are when I don’t even know myself?”
Damien stills and stares at me, his jaw twitching. “We’re married, Ezra. I thought it was pretty obvious.”
“Married on paper.” I utter. “You said we would never be husband and wife. Those were your words. What the hell was last night? Or all the other nights before that?” I demand and wait for an answer but never got one. “How can you switch off so goddamn quickly, Damien? How?!” Damien takes two strides, and I was slammed against the wall, his grim gaze penetrating straight through to my very soul.
“It was sex.” He hisses and grabs my jaw lifting my gaze to his. “Look at me, Ezra, take off those rose-colored glasses and take a long hard look. This is the real me, Ezra. I’m toxic. I kill for a living. I have no emotions because I had that privilege stripped away from me at a very young age. This notion of me that you have built up in your mind is not my responsibility. I never promised you a fairytale, nor do you possess a magical pussy that will change me from who I am—who I have been. I will not change, not for you, not for anyone. It would do you a world of good if the next time you get the urge to be fucked and decide to slip into my bed, you remember that, yeah?”
My vision blurs with unshed tears as I stood numbly looking up at him. I’ve gone and sold my soul to the devil himself. Did I really believe that after last night things could change between us? He was right, I surrendered myself to him, and he never promised me anything in return—nothing but keeping me alive. Damien lets go of my arms, moves away, and I can do nothing but stare at the space that he stood seconds ago. I don’t think I’ve ever been made to feel so shit in all my life.
I can’t even find the words to describe the ache deep inside me. Damien’s words cut me in a way I wouldn’t recover, not for a very long time.