Ezra
Ifeel so lost.
I feel so drained that I just wanted to walk away from everything. I’ve been feeling that way most of my life. I went from a controlling father to an even more controlling and sadist husband, and I couldn’t see a way out. My feelings and my state of mind were shot to hell. I read in the papers about Stockholm syndrome a few days ago, and it’s been whirling around in my head ever since. A girl who was kidnapped fell in love with her captor. It all seemed too familiar.
Was I suffering from Stockholm syndrome? Is that what’s got me so conflicted with Damien? After our argument in his lair of pain, Damien’s been distant, very distant. He’s completely closed off. It’s been a few days since I’ve seen him. He left me at my parents and said he had things to do and that he would be back. He informed me that a highly trained security team was surveying the house twenty-four-seven, and I wasn’t to even poke my head out of the gates.
Where was he? Was he alive? Is he on the job, or maybe he’s gone to fulfill his ‘urges’ and release some frustration by whipping some girl? I rub my temples and sigh, trying to focus on the book I was reading currently by the pool. I’ve read the same line repeatedly. I was beyond frustrated.
“Ezra!” I jump when I see my best friend running toward me. I sit up, and she hugs me tight. God, I’ve missed her.
“Jordin!”
“Bitch, where the hell have you been?!” She asks, sitting at the edge of my sun lounger. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? Your mother said you went to your aunt or something for a while. Then I read in the papers that you’re back and you’re married?! What the fuck is going on?” Of course, they lied to her, just like everyone else.
I sigh and plaster a smile on my face. “Yeah, the whole arranged marriage thing to Calum had me spinning, so I left for a while to clear my head. I didn’t go to my aunts. I went to…an ex.”
Jordin frowns, “You went to Xavi?” I smile and shake my head. Xavier was the guy I was seeing before everything got messed up. The bastard sold me out for a measly hundred grand. We didn’t exactly have the best relationship. I knew my father didn’t like him, which was a bonus. Other than the fact that he was handsome, we had an on-and-off relationship. He wanted sex; I wasn’t ready for that commitment, so he’d get mad, end things and then come back again a week later.
“No. Not Xavi. I didn’t go off with some guy at the club that night, as I had told you. I, uh, left with Damien, and I was with him for a little while. I had to get away to a place no one will find me, and he’s the only one that came to mind.” I lie and wince inwardly at the pang of guilt I felt lying to my best friend. I’ve never lied to her in all our years of friendship. She’s always been there, she’s like a sister, and the fact that I’m sitting here lying to her face is killing me, but what other choice do I have? She’s in just as much danger of being killed if she knows too much. I need to protect the ones I love from this mess.
“That’s the guy you married. The one in the paper?” She asks, thinning her honey-colored orbs as though she wasn’t buying a word of what I was telling her. I nod and twirl my ring nervously, avoiding her probing gaze. “You’ve never mentioned this guy to me, Ezra, not once. What gives?”
I sigh. “Haven’t you ever had a secret you kept just for yourself? Just one thing that was yours?” I ask, and she raises her thick, perfectly shaped fair brow.
“Bitch, I don’t keep a damn thing from you. I’m fully insulted right now.” She gasps, and her eyes go wide. “Oh my god, was he married? Were you his bit on the side. Is that why you didn’t tell me?” She asks in a flurry.
“Don’t be ridiculous. He wasn’t married. Damien was my escape—he is my escape. I fell in love with him, and I couldn’t stand to be apart from him any longer. That’s all there is to it.” I explain setting the book down on the sun longer.
“If that were true, Chiquita, why do you seem so unhappy? For a girl who married the love of her life, you’re awfully glum?” I sigh and bite my bottom lip thoughtfully while I brush my hair away from my face, biting back the tears I can feel burning the back of my eyelids. Jordin grabs my arm and looks at my bruised wrists, her brows drawn together in a deep vee.
“Ezra? What the fuck are these bruises on your wrists?” Sheer panic rises in my gut, and I search my brain for an excuse but came up blank. “Ezra, does he hurt you? You can tell me, Chiquita? Has he forced you into this marriage?” I swiftly blink away the tears when my vision starts to blur and shake my head, pulling my arms back.
“No. Jordin, he doesn’t hurt me, and he hasn’t forced me into anything. Damien is a little dominant in bed. Things got very kinky in the bedroom the other night. That’s all this is.”
Jordin looks at me warily for a moment, and when I blush, she nods in understanding and smiles, “Dominant, huh? Like Fifty shades kind of shit?”
I laugh and nod, my cheeks burning. “Yeah, pretty much.” Jordin grins, and her eyes go wide with interest.
“I didn’t think you would be into all of that submissive stuff?” I shrug and lick my lips.
“Honestly, neither did I, but he’s awakened something in me, Jordin. I don’t have less than four orgasms every time we…”
“Fuck…Ezra, every time you fuck, you can say it. I’ve been trying to break you of your prim and proper ways for years when really, you’ve been a kinky little hoe-bag this whole time. Who the fuck knew!” I howl with laughter and throw my book at her, and she catches it, grinning mischievously. “Nabbed yourself your very own Christian Grey. I likey.”
I let my mind wander off to the other night, and my stomach tightens with exhilaration. “Yeah, only Damien Wolfe is about eighty shades darker and possesses a tongue so damn skillful it should be deemed illegal.” I sigh lustily, and Jordin stares at me with intrigue.
“Eighty shades darker, you say?” I nod, smiling, and she grins, her brows disappear into her hairline. “Does he have a hot, equally dark brother?”
I laugh and shrug. “I don’t think so. He hasn’t mentioned if he has.”
“I’m actually mad jealous right now. You have found yourself a drool-worthy man who is also into kinky fuckery. No wonder you’ve kept him a secret, you little minx.”
I sigh inwardly. Little did she know my sexy husband is also a sadist with zero emotions, as well as a hard-hearted assassin who has threatened to kill everyone I love if I don’t keep his secret.
Yeah, real good catch.
The roar of his engine cut through my musings, and my heart leaped up to my throat. I sit up straight, my eyes focused on the back gate. He’s back…and alive. A sense of relief washes over me as I wait for him to walk through the back gate.