She smiles prettily in return and holds the toast to my mouth again. “What kind of a wife would I be if I didn’t take care of my husband in his time of need? Eat.” She orders, and I smile and take a bite again. “Besides, it’s the least I can do. You almost died because of me.”
I frown, swallow the toast, and gaze up at her. “Stop blaming yourself. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It comes with the job.”
Ezra shrugs and watches me, her blue eyes glassy, showing her guilt and such sorrow. “It was my idea to go out for a run. If it weren’t for me, you’d be fine right now. You kept warning me, but I didn’t listen to you.” She sighs and drops her gaze from mine. “A big part of me just wishes that you killed me when you had the chance. I don’t understand why you keep risking your life to save me. Why didn’t you just shoot me, Damien?”
I hold her gaze for as long as she holds mine. “The same reason you didn’t leave me there to die, Ezra,” I answer, and her eyes lift to mine, taken aback. “You could have just let me die, and you would have been free of me, but you didn’t. Why?”
“I couldn’t.” She shrugs. shaking her head while putting the half-eaten slice of toast on the side and dusting the crumbs off on her hands. “You saved me time and time again; how could I just leave you there to die? I would have to be completely heartless to do such a thing, and that’s not me. How much ever I may complain and say that I hate you, you’re the reason I’m still alive today, and I’ll always be indebted to you.” She bites her bottom lip and stares at her hand for a moment. “I just want you to know how sorry I am for being such a pain in the ass this whole time. I was so caught up in how difficult and different my life has become that I didn’t even consider how drastically your life had changed overnight and how hard this must have all been for you, too.”
“I’m thrilled you have finally realized that you’re a royal pain in my ass.” I tease, and she smiles a little. “But you do have your … perks too, I suppose.”
Her eyebrows rise, and she looks at me, “Oh? Please do tell, what might those perks be?” I smirk and let my eyes roam over her and wag my brows at her suggestively, and she goes a deep red, licking her pink lips.
“I’m definitely looking forward to my sponge baths.”
Ezra rolls her eyes, the corner of her lips curling the slightest bit, she reaches for the bowl of soup, and I catch her wrist and fix her with a firm look. “Did you just roll your eyes at me?” I question, and she turns her startled gaze to mine.
She sighs, “Damien.”
I squeeze her wrist, my eyes on hers, “Damien…what? You’re well aware of the rules, Ezra, yet you keep defying me.”
“Seriously? You’re impossible, you’ve just been shot, and you’re thinking about sex?” She chastises me.
I smirk lazily and lick my lips.
“I’m a horny man, sweetheart. Ninety percent of our brain is wired to be consumed with sex for at least eighty percent of the day. I’ve made a mental note. We’ll be picking this up later.” Ezra snorts and stirs the soup, blowing it gently. “Can you fix my pillow? It’s hurting my neck,” I request; she nods, putting the bowl of soup down before she moves closer to me and leans over, sliding her fingers at my neck and lifting my head carefully while the other readjust the pillow. I ignore the dull ache shooting up and down my back when the smell of her shampoo hits me like a fucking tsunami. It was a nice distraction from the pain; her hair falls like a curtain around me as she leans in closer.
“Is that better?”
“No, a little lower…” Okay, I admit, the pillow felt perfectly fine. I just wanted her close. She lifts my head a little higher, and it was the perfect angle; my lips were so close to her neck, I couldn’t resist the urge to taste her. I brush my lips along her collarbone and suck gently. Ezra gasps quietly, but she doesn’t pull back right away, not until my lips are on her jaw, inching closer to hers.
I was dying to kiss her again. She draws back a little and looks down at me, her fingers still curled at my neck; her blue eyes glow with hesitation, undoubtedly worried about hurting me. I lift my arm and coil my own fingers in her hair and bring her lips down to meet mine.
Ezra squeaks a little at first but parts her lips when she feels my tongue brushing along her bottom lip, her velvet tongue darting out to meet mine, gliding over mine teasingly. We moan in unison as our kiss deepens and becomes more urgent. I groan when she pulls back a little, panting, and looks down at me. “Damien,” She whispers breathily. “You’re going to hurt yourself; we can’t—" I seize her lips again with mine and kiss her hungrily.
I bite her bottom lip and tug gently, “Fuck Ezra, I don’t care. I can’t fucking control myself around you.” I whisper, ghosting my lips over hers. “You’re like a drug habit I can’t seem to kick. The harder I try to resist you, the more I crave you like a fucking fanatic.” Ezra moans and pulls back, brushing her thumb along my jaw. Our foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, breaths mingling.
“Damien, you’re on so much morphine and antibiotics right now. I doubt you’ll even remember this tomorrow. We need to get you better and back on your feet, okay.” She tells me and tries to pull back, but I keep her in place.
“How can I not remember when you’re all I ever think about, Ezra?” I admit, her eyes open, and she looks at me, her eyes wide and lips parted as if she’s trying to figure out if I am being genuine or not.
“Damien don’t,” She sighs. “You’ll only end up regretting this later. Let us just focus on getting you better, all right?” I gaze into her eyes, and she tears hers from mine and pulls away. She’s probably right. I mean, I did hurt her by letting her think I was fucking another girl so that she would put her guard up around me. I suppose it’s working. As much as I hate the disheartened feeling twisting in my gut, I need to stick to my guns and let her be.
Fuck, but I want her so fucking much.
“Here, your soup is getting cold.” Ezra voices and holds the spoon out to my mouth. I watch her for a long moment, and she keeps her eyes on the spoon, which was shaking ever so slightly. She was nervous, I could tell. I open my mouth and eat the soup and wince at the temperature. Cold my ass; it was still piping hot. “Oh, I’m sorry. Was it too hot?” She blows on the next spoonful before feeding it to me.
“Are you all right?” I ask, and she lifts her blue eyes to mine and frowns a little. “After killing that hitman, I mean.” I instantly regret asking because her eyes well up, which she tries to blink away. “You did what you had to do, Ezra. He was sent to kill you. You were just protecting yourself; you did the right thing.” I tell her, and she drops the spoon in the bowl and sets it aside before running her slender fingers through her dark hair and shrugging.
“Whether he was sent to kill me or not is irrelevant. I still took a life. He was someone’s son, possibly someone’s boyfriend or husband even…” She stops talking and shakes her head, brushing away the tears that spill down her cheeks. “I’m not like you. I can’t just switch off my feelings and not care that I took someone’s life, regardless of him being a contracted killer. A life is a life, and every time I close my eyes, all I see his limp body hitting the ground, and it just…it’s haunts me.”
I shake my head, “Ezra, I can tell you one thing for sure, people like us that do this for a living have no one in our lives. We can’t, for that very reason, because we go into every contract with the probability of death, or they become collateral damage. It’s against the rules for a reason, so it’s easier to be alone.” I explain, and she looks over at me, her brows drawn together.
“That’s not true. You have a wife who’s to say he didn’t have someone that cared about him too?”
I quirk my brow at her, “Are you saying you care about me, Ezra Wolfe?” Ezra blanches and stares at me like a deer caught in headlights.
“Um,” She mutters, shaking her head. “I was just simply saying you shouldn’t pass judgment on someone else’s life.” I sigh with a nod, I could tease her and continue making her blush, but I was feeling drained all of a sudden.