CHAPTER19
We waved goodbye to Ren as we rode away from the village, but that felt like hours ago. Every moment took me farther away from the kingdom, but somehow felt like it was taking me closer to my doom.
Evren had sent word to Gavril, and I had no idea what he had told him. Would Gavril meet us at Nabál? Would he come once the threat was over?
Evren’s hand tightened around me as if he could sense the thoughts running through my mind. “Do we need to stop?”
“No.” I shook my head quickly and tightened my hands on the pommel of the saddle to keep myself from leaning back into him. I didn’t want to get too comfortable, too used to this thing that was happening between us.
“Are you sure? Your back went rigid. Are you sore?”
I was. Increasingly so with every mile that we traveled, but that wasn’t what was bothering me. “I’m fine, Evren. I’m just ready to arrive.”
He was silent for a long moment behind me, and I thought that he was going to drop it as I looked over at Jorah. He was watching the tree line dutifully as we traveled, and he took the last attack as personally as Evren had.
“Are you angry about what happened at the inn?” Evren cleared his throat, and a chill ran down my spine. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I shouldn’t have…”
“You didn’t hurt me.” I shook my head and turned to look at him over my shoulder. “I told you I wanted what happened back there.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
The urge to tell him that I wished we could just ride away from this place and never return was on the tip of my tongue, because I would. If Evren asked it of me, I would follow him wherever he was willing to take me.
Away from both of our duties and fates.
“What role will I have as Gavril’s queen?”
He went stiff behind me at my question. “What do you mean?”
“Gavril is meant to rule over both the fae and human realms, is he not?” I looked forward again and thought about the home I had left.
“He is.”
“And what about me? Will I have that same rule?”
“Princess?” My nickname was a whisper from his lips.
“I refuse to sit in that castle with servants and feasts while people around us starve. Have you ever seen someone who is truly starving, Evren? Have you witnessed what that’s like?”
More hesitation and I worried I had crossed a line. I was about to tell him to forget what I had said just as he spoke. “I’ve witnessed more of it than I dare speak of. It isn’t just your human lands that are starving, princess.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I hadn’t considered that fae who possessed magic could ever get to that point.
“Ren was little more than skin and bones the first time Jorah and I stopped in Iladonia.” His voice was gruff and laced with anger. “We make a point to stop there every time we travel now. Without my coin, they would barely survive.”
My stomach ached as I thought of Ren’s smiling face. I couldn’t imagine him any other way. I couldn’t see him the way Evren described.
“And your father? Why doesn’t he do anything about it?”
“Kings are rarely concerned with things that don’t fill their coffers, princess. A man could be starving in front of my father, and I’m not sure he would extend him a piece of bread.”
“Doesn’t that bother you?” I shook my head. “That you serve a man who could be so cruel?”
“He is my father.”
“And he killed mine. Just because someone is your blood doesn’t mean they deserve your loyalty.”
Evren sighed, and I knew there was more he wanted to say. There was so much more he wasn’t willing to tell me.