The Girl Who Joined the Circus

“Eet was such a small place,” Valida pointed out from the top bunk. “Ve couldn’t have lost zat much.”

I remained curled up in bed, hugging my pillow against my chest. “I think everyone believes I had something to do with it.”

Halfrieda gently shifted to the side of my bed, reaching out with a reassuring hand, which she put on my shoulder. “Love, we all know it ain’t yer fault. What happened was just an accident. Musta been an equipment malfunction.”

“Yez, an equipment mizfunction, I zink. A vell-timed equipment malfunction. And a perfectly deserved fate for zat little brat, Maleah.” Valida looked remarkably pleased about Maleah’s misfortune as she sat brushing out her dark curls.

And that was when it dawned on me—of everyone in the troup, Valida seemed the least concerned about what had happened. In fact, she didn’t seem concerned at all. She was the only one who hadn’t rushed over to find out what had happened as soon as it had. Instead, she’d just remained in the background, seeking shelter in the shadows.

“Valida, you didn’t arrange for that cable to break, did you?” I asked, hating the fact that I was even asking her the question. Because if she wasn’t involved, I was more than sure she would be beyond offended that I’d even asked.

She looked up at me, and there was a blank expression on her face. But she didn’t deny it.

“I told you not to retaliate,” I continued, heart rate speeding up as I realized who was at fault and that she’d done what she had in my name. “Please tell me you didn’t have anything to do with this.”

Valida was silent, avoiding eye contact and contemplating her response. Finally, she huffed defiantly and said, “I’m not zure what you mean, dahling.”

“Oh, no,” I groaned, reading between the lines. As tears formed in my eyes, Halfrieda reached out to me.

“C’mon, let’s not bicker,” she begged. “We’re all supposed ta be friends, remember?”

“What kind of friend doesn’t respect another friend’s wishes?” I pushed myself upright and got off the bed, glaring at Valida. “It was you, Valida!” She looked up at me with that uninterested expression, further proving her guilt in my mind. “Oh, Valida! What did you do?” I covered my face with my hands, my shoulders shaking involuntarily as I slowly comprehended her betrayal.

Valida scoffed, holding her arms up for Balthazar to slither around.

“Vat is done is done,” she said with a shrug.

“I asked you not to do anything to get back at them.” Hot tears streamed down my cheeks and my voice trembled. “I told you I didn’t want to be stuck in some—some endless circle of violence with them. Now I’m smack dab in the middle of it. The twins will never believe it wasn’t me and they’ll never let this incident rest. That’s if Maleah even recovers. We still don’t know if she’s even going to survive.”

“Vell, you von’t have to vorry about zem for long,” Valida said as she inspected her nails and appeared completely uninterested in the conversation.

“I don’t have to worry about one of them, sure! But Mariah by herself is almost worse! She thinks I rigged the equipment, so now she’ll deem it her mission to make my life a living hell!” I didn’t even want to broach the possibility of Mariah plotting her own vengeance against me—the episode with the water box wasn’t far from my mind. And what if she was able to convince everyone that I had something to do with Maleah’s fall? They would all hate me.

Valida suddenly sat upright as Balthazar slithered across her fingers and she glared at me, her yellow eyes flashing in the dim light. “As I zed, you von’t have to vorry about either of zem because zey vill be leaving soon. As are ve all,” she added, gesturing to Halfrieda with her free hand. Then she raised her brows in an expression of self-defense. “And you vill not have to zee my traitorous face for very much longer eizer.”

My heart practically stopped in my chest. “I—I didn’t call you a ‘traitor.’”

“You didn’t need to. I can zee az much in your eyes.”

I swallowed hard. Even though Valida had done the wrong thing, certainly, she’d done it to avenge me—because she considered me her friend. “I have every right to be upset with you, Valida,” I continued, tone softer now. “But please don’t leave. I certainly don’t want to lose you.”

“It ain’t our choice,” Halfrieda whispered.

“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.

She shrugged. “Ya coincidentally happened ta stumble in at the halfway point on this tour. Once we finish up this here track, Cirque du Noir’s gonna have a whole new troupe o’ folks ta work fer ‘em. The troupe we have now will retire.”

“Retire?” I asked as I faced her with a frown.

Halfrieda nodded. “That’s what Valida means when she says we’ll all be gone soon.”

“What?” I blinked, processing this new information and not fully grasping it. “But that makes no sense at all. Why in the world would Laurent want to replace all of you? What a huge waste of time and money and… well… and talent! That’s no way to run a business.”

“Eet eez not our choice,” Valida hissed. “Zat is vat Rex and Laurent told us ven ve first signed on.”

“Yeah. Sort of a take-it-or-leave-it sorta situation,” Halfrieda added.

I shook my head furiously, still not understanding. “Then, why’d you take this job in the first place?”