Journey
Pitch black.Just the way I liked it. I moved through the claiming party quickly, weaving and dodging like I was some sort of warrior princess instead of a wounded girl running from the boy who hurt her. I knew where Bain was, and I hoped that he hadn’t moved from the last time I caught a glimpse. There was shuffling going on behind me, which both excited me and worried me.
A cat-and-mouse game. That was Cade’s and my game before things became real. He’d watch me, toy with me, let me run away until the very last second when his strong hands would grab my waist, and then he’d spin me around and blindside me with dirty words and his scorching touch. Now, though, I couldn’t be caught.
“Bain,” I whispered, my hand latching onto something hard. My eyes adjusted quickly, and there was a wide-shouldered black shadow in front of me. Please be him. In the worst way, I wanted to look over my shoulder, but I didn’t. Cade could have been standing there—or worse, the person who had attempted to kill me.
Or am I standing in front of him?
“Journey?”
I gripped his arm tighter and pulled him quickly behind me, and for some reason, he let me. Bain didn’t strike me as a guy who let others drag him around. In fact, I bet he took control in every situation he was ever in—even at these parties with a girl beneath him. Here goes nothing.
I shoved us both into the first hidden room on the left, angry at the memory of Cade that popped up almost instantly. This was ours, once upon a time.
The lights remained off, and the click on the lock blended in with the pounding in my ears. “I wanted to get you alone,” I said, shutting my eyes and pretending I wasn’t about to go through with this. Tobias would be so disappointed in me, knowing I was using old tactics from the hospital that I pretended he knew nothing about.
I always felt sick afterward. Disgusted with myself even though I knew it had to be done.
“What do you want?” Bain was far away. His voice was distant but sharp like a knife.
Taking a step forward, rubbing my hands down my bumpy arms laced with chills, I asked, “Why do you always stare at me?” I hated the sound of my fake sultry voice. “Do you like me, Bain?”
“I don’t know you,” he nearly barked, halting my steps toward him. This is not going as planned.
“You stare at me enough…surely you know something about me.” Like who tried to kill me.
He huffed out a laugh. “You’ve been back for, like, a week. I’ve hardly noticed.”
I swallowed my fear and moved toward the sound of his voice. “Now I know you’re lying.” There was silence, and I stood in the same spot, staring at the dark figure in front of me. “You used to stare at me before I left, too. Did you think I didn’t notice?”
He said nothing. Nothing at all. And with each breath I shakily let out, I tiptoed over to him, ready to chew up the guilt and spit it right back out.
“Why, Bain?”
“Why what?” Even without seeing him, I knew he said the words through gritted teeth. Was he holding himself back? Pretending that he didn’t have some abnormal infatuation with me? He used to stare at me like he was afraid he’d lose me. I didn’t mind, but it was perplexing.
“Do you want me? Is that it? Or is it something else?”
“Like what?”
My eyebrow rose. He didn’t deny it.
My foot nudged his, and it sounded as if he had swallowed air. “Journey, back up.”
No. “Or what?” Will you try to kill me? The words were there as they lingered on my tongue. I would have thought that it was fear holding me back, but for some wicked reason that I couldn’t even begin to understand, I wasn’t afraid.
“Journey, just—”
“Just what?” I asked, my face now an inch from his. “Why do you stare at me? Do you know something about me that I don’t?”
Here we go, getting to the fun stuff. I hated myself at this moment, but I also loved myself. The thrill of toying with danger, breaking morals and rules that I’d made for myself to get people to love me like I wanted. Fighting and surviving to stay alive and to find out what the hell happened to me, and why I was so disposable to people.
Bain’s rough hands landed on my biceps, and a rush of air whooshed out of my mouth. “Stop,” he said.
“Stop what? Trying to figure out what your deal is with me? You know, I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I was away. Wondering why you always stared but never touched me.” I swallowed, slicing away at Cade’s seductive words as they floated through my head, making me feel guilty and dirty. “You’re mine, Journ. Always and forever. No one else can touch you.” Except, someone did touch me.
“Journey, turn the fuck around, and leave this room. You have no idea what you’re doing.” His hands tightened on my arms. This is not how I saw this going.