My throat began to prickle with anxiety, but then I thought of Sister Mary, and suddenly, I felt like I was in the middle of a war, not knowing which side my opponent was on. I was being pulled in two different directions.
“I don’t know,” Gemma said. “But…there's a really twisted part of me that trusts Bain. Even after everything. At least when it comes to you.”
“Why me? Because he has some strange infatuation with me? I still don’t understand it.”
Gemma pulled up her map, pushing away another text from Isaiah, which only fed into my anxiety. Where is the fierce girl that Bain was talking about? I knew she was buried inside of me somewhere. I just needed to let her out.
Fresh air pelted into my lungs, and I gulped it in, coming to the realization that Bain was wrong. It wasn’t that I thought I needed Cade to fight my battles for me, or that he was the only one to save me. It was that I was afraid I would lose the battle and then lose him, too.
“I don’t know,” Gemma began answering my question as we walked over the snowy ground. “He once made a comment about you that told me he would do anything to keep you safe. I just don’t know why.”
I stopped walking, my shoes plowing into the snow. “He did?”
Gemma’s soft face turned back, and she peered over her shoulder. “He threatened to kill someone if they ever hurt you, and I can assure you that he follows through with his threats.”
My forehead suddenly felt sticky.
It wasn’t the first time someone had said they’d do anything to protect me, but the thing was, I wasn’t sure either of them would get the chance.
Gemma droveus to the location that was written on the paper in her father’s car that had been parked down near his old quarters, only a few yards from the motorcycle that I’d ridden with Cade the first time we’d snuck out.
“Sorry, I’m still not that good at driving,” she said, shutting the headlights off and creeping down the last street until we reached our destination. Isaiah had called a few more times, and Shiner had called once, too. Every time it rang, Gemma would let it go, and the last text that came from Isaiah had both of our heads dropping.
Isaiah: I swear to God, you are going to kill me one day. Where the fuck are you? And we know Journey is with you. Tell us you’re okay, baby.
“Maybe you should go back,” I squeaked. “Just drop me off and go back, please.” I felt terrible. My emotions were all over the place. I teetered over the edge between guilt and resilience, determination and reluctance.
“I’m not leaving you here, and we’re not going back. Bain was right. You and I are a special kind of breed. We can love those boys, and they can love us back, but we cannot let them fight every one of our battles. We aren’t damsels in distress, Journ. We never were.” A heavy sigh left her, and she pulled her phone to her lap and typed a quick text.
Gemma: We’re okay. Try not to worry.
Isaiah: Why are you near town?
“Wait, how does he know where we are?” My heart began stuttering, and I looked out my window at the tall, looming building that was just as diabolical as the Covenant Psych Hospital.
Her phone clicked off, and her hand fell to the door handle. “My phone has tracking on it. They’ll be here soon. I’m sure of it. So, let’s hurry up and get this over with.”
“What are we getting ourselves into?” I asked, opening my door.
She shrugged. “This isn’t the first time I’ve blindly stepped into a fucked-up situation. We’ll be fine.”
Her phone buzzed again, and this time, it was Tobias. We both froze.
Tobias: You and Journey better have a damn good explanation, Sis.
Isaiah: Why is Bain missing? Is he with you?
I tried to embrace the rising guilt following closely behind the impending dread. “We should have waited for them,” I said, knowing that, even if Bain was right, Gemma and I had no idea what was inside that building. None at all. The only comfort I had was the fact that whoever had tried to take me, just a few nights ago, wasn’t trying to kill me.
“There wasn’t time,” Gemma said, showing the time on her phone. Three minutes to nine.
Shit. Our hands clasped together, my other one near my pocket, protecting the knife that I had grown attached to. What I wouldn’t give to be that clueless girl from last year, crushing on one of the Rebels, instead of this girl who was leaving a trail of fire behind as she walked to a ruined building, not only feeling guilty for leaving Cade but also slight satisfaction for not falling into the easy road of deserting a woman like Sister Mary, who I was pretty certain had dedicated her life to protecting me. It wasn’t even about finding out answers anymore. This went way further than knowing who my mother was or why I was left at an orphanage. There was a present slicing in my chest at the thought of Sister Mary, and hope was the balm that soothed it. She has to be okay.
I pulled on Gemma’s hand as we stood outside the tall building. It looked empty, and the glass had been shattered on the front of it. There weren’t any cars around, which was alarming and even more eerie. “What if she isn’t alive?” I croaked, pushing away everything but my determination. What if they’ve killed Sister Mary? What if they know she was hiding me from whoever it is that wants me? What if it is my real mother and father?
“Then, we fucking run.”
I nodded before we both pulled our chins up higher and walked into a building with icy, broken glass crunching underneath our shoes.