Holiday Heat

“Huh! I don’t see why I would want to. Nothing can come of it because we’re only here for a week.”

“For fun!” Azalea yells. “I know you know what fun is, right?”

“Screwing around with a guy that I’ll never see again? Not sure why that’s fun. I’d rather curl up with a good book boyfriend.”

Promise grins. “The literary kind aren’t nearly as much fun.”

I snort. “Humph! I publish those guys. Trust me…they are way more fun for me than a real one.”

Caitlyn rolls her eyes and hands me a kindle tablet. “Here. Knock yourself out.” She turns to the others. “Let’s get ready and hit the dance floor.”

I watch them dancing into their bedrooms and walk into the double that I’m sharing with Caitlyn. I climb up onto the bed and curl my legs under me. The quilt on the bed is a pine green plaid with a bear print on it.

Caitlyn sees me and raises her eyebrows. “What? It’s cute.”

My nose wrinkles. “It’s just not my taste.”

“Yes, I know. No beige or gray. But I bet it grows on you.”

“Like a fungus?”

She rolls her gray eyes. “Ugh! You are terrible. Just try to have a good time. And no work.”

“How exactly would I work? You took everything.”

“Well, just don’t stay holed up in this room the whole time. If I know you, this will be the last vacation you take until you retire so relax and let loose a little. There’s a barn dance tonight at the dance hall. I think we should all go.”

I roll my eyes and groan. “If I go to this will you leave me alone for a little bit.”

She holds up her fingers crossed. “Absolutely. For at least a day!” she laughs.

“That isn’t exactly what I meant,” I mutter.

“Just take what you can get. I’ll see you later.”

As soon as I hear their high-pitched chatter fading away, I sigh and lean back on the comfortable bed and close my eyes. I hate this! I don’t want to be here and the silence that now permeates the walls is enough to drive me nuts.

I’m used to the sound of traffic and sirens all day and night. My hand shakes and I sit it down on the bed, making myself relax one muscle at a time.

I haven’t told anyone, especially my brother and his wife, but I’ve been seeing a doctor. And we’re not dating. I have been having panic attacks and blacking out at odd times. My heart races and then I pass out.

So far, the doctor thinks that it’s all stress-related. But I have a bad feeling that there’s something wrong. And of course that makes the stress worse.

Just sitting here, I can feel my pulse speeding up. I need to work. There are so many deadlines that I might be missing if I don’t get something done! It’s making my head buzz and I feel that cloudy, cotton-ball feeling in my brain.

“It’s time to get out of here and do something.” I used to love to hike when I was younger. Before I buried myself in work. There have to be some good hiking trails around here.

I slide off the bed and stretch, yawning. This vacation might just be the death of me if I don’t come to terms with it.

I change my shoes into a sensible pair of brand-new hiking boots. The sales person said to make sure and break them in before I went for a hike but I’m sure it’s alright. I mean..I’ve worn new pumps the day after I buy them and it’s totally fine.

I throw some stuff in a backpack, including the loaded kindle, and throw it on the bed before zipping it up.

Then with a quick wink in the mirror on the wall, squaring my shoulders, I walk out the door. Misgivings rise up instantly. Which way should I go? How far should I go?

I study a map that I found on the dresser and groan. The hiking trail is all the way on the other side of the resort. But on the plus side, it’s right along the woods and I might see some cute bunnies or deer or something.

I step out, confident in my ability to traverse this new environment. A smile curls my lips and I turn my face up to the sunlight. It warms me and fills my soul with an incredible feeling of peace. For the first time in a long time, I feel almost content.