22
Brandy
Edmonds, Washington – 2018
As soon asAunt Ruthie left, I took the boys to a neighbor’s house and drove across town to Lia’s apartment.
“I’m a product of rape,” Lia said, sobbing in my arms.
Not knowing how to respond, I said nothing.
“Did you have any idea?” Lia pulled away and stared at me with red-rimmed eyes. “Did you know?”
I shook my head, feeling ashamed. Didn’t she get it? If I already knew, I already would’ve asked for what I needed to prove my father’s innocence... her DNA.
“It’s such a shock, but it makes perfect sense too.” Lia sniffed hard. “I’ve always felt like something was wrong with me. Like my mom didn’t like me because I was defective. Now I know why.”
“Don’t say that, Lia. Your mom loves you. You’ve got to know that. Your mom suffered so much, yet she was a good mom.”
Lia sank onto the couch and pressed a throw pillow to her chest. “You know the worst part?”
Your cousin swooping in like a vulture, demanding your DNA to prove Eddie isn’t your father? To prove that someone else was there that night?
“What’s the worst part?” I asked.
“How my mom said she always tried to love me. She didn’t say she always loved me. She said that she always tried to love me.” Lia held back a sob. “She couldn’t just love me. No, she had to try because I was impossible to love. Because I am impossible to love.”
“Lia, I don’t think that’s what she meant.”
“No? You don’t think she treated you differently than she treated me?”
“No, not really.”
She sighed. “Tell me the truth. Am I so difficult to love? Is that why Oliver—”
“Oliver? The bike shop guy, Oliver?”
“Yes.” She placed a protective hand on her belly. “Is that why he doesn’t want anything to do with me or the babies? Because I’m such a difficult person that even her own mother can’t love her?”
My mind scrambled to catch up. Oliver was the father of Lia’s babies? I should’ve figured that out, but I was too wrapped up in my own drama to make the connection.
“You’re not a difficult person,” I said. “You’re not hard to love. I know you’re hurting, but I don’t think you’re being fair to your mom. She gave you life. She didn’t have to do that.”
“I know.”
“And she was a good mother. She took us to the library, tucked us into bed, taught us how to play the piano... And remember that time she waited three hours with us at the mall just so we could meet Kimmy from Full House?”
A little laugh escaped Lia. “What a disappointment that was. We waited in line forever, then all we got was one quick picture that ended up being blurry.”
I smiled. “Tell me the truth. Did you think Kimmy would invite us on the set to meet the Turner family? Maybe pull some strings and get us hired as actresses?”
“Of course. Isn’t that what you thought?”
I nodded, and the two of us shared a laugh. Despite everything, my aunt had given us a good life by doing what every good caretaker did. Her best. Expecting more from the person who raised you was only a recipe for heartbreak.
Until Lia’s babies arrived, she might not be able to understand how difficult it was to be a mother. Mothers made so many mistakes. I’d failed countless times with the boys. And yet I loved them with my whole heart. There honestly wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them.
As I explained all this to Lia, someone knocked on the door. Lia dried her eyes and waddled to answer the door. Before opening it, she looked through the peephole and burst into tears. “Papa.”