I rest my wet arm on the counter.
“I need a room tonight.”
She gives me another glance over, then lets out a sigh before grabbing a key from one of the drawers and chucking it at me.
“Second floor. Room 104,” she says flatly. “Enjoy your stay.”
Dragging myself up the stairs is a challenge when I’m ten pounds heavier from the water clinging to every inch of my body. When I finally reach my room, the first thing that hits me is the stench of bleach. It smells sterile in here. Like a murder took place and forensics has just scrubbed the place clean. But the sight of a comfy bed and a clean bathroom is enough for me to momentarily forget about the unpleasant scent.
I peel off my clothes and hop into the shower. It’s difficult to even clean myself properly because of the exhaustion of carrying around such heavy heartache. Instead, I settle for a light rinse, toweling myself off afterward and getting ready for bed.
I pull the blanket over me, wrap it around myself tightly, and try to shut off my mind.
I can’t sleep.
The nightmare of finding Jax and Beth together keeps replaying in my mind. Every time I close my eyes, there he is—hands gliding over her skin, his mouth peppering kisses down her throat, his hips grinding against hers in a passionate, frenzied way that causes a loud, breathy moan to escalate from deep within her throat. God, I feel sick to my stomach again. Maybe if I threw it all up in the toilet the memory would get flushed away along with my sick.
How did I get blindsided by all of this? There must have been signs that I simply dismissed as paranoia. Instances when Jax and Beth got a little too close, were a little too affectionate. Maybe acting shady or too defensive when I would notice something and speak up about it. I sift through the memories, scrambling to dissect everything that either of them said to me for the past few months, but come up short, with not many red flags sticking out.
Perhaps they’d hid it from me well. Or I was just terrible at picking up the signs. But then again, even if there had been signs, I doubt I would have suspected that something like this would happen. Because how could I? I trusted Jax and Beth with my life.
And now, I feel like such a fucking fool.
Exhaustion soon gives way to a new kind of anger, slowly chipping away at my patience and resolve.
Do Jax and Beth think they can just drive an axe into my heart and not suffer any consequences? There’s no fucking way I’ll just let them go unscathed. I’ve been burned so many times in the past, but this feels different. It’s a wild, untamed nuclear kind of anger. The sheer magnitude of their deception is too big for me to let slide.
This time, it’s way too personal.
I flip over on the bed and clench my jaw so tightly that my teeth grind.
I’m not going to give either of them the satisfaction of breaking me. Because I can’t break. It’s simply not in my nature.
I may have fallen to the ground face-first but I can trust that I will pick myself up again. I’m not weak. I’m not.
I’m a fighter.
I’m going to make Jax and Beth pay for what they did.
And this time, they’ll be sorry they ever fucked with me.