6
Savannah
Ican hardly look at Beau as we get dressed. I can’t believe I just made such a fool of myself. He’d already made me feel so amazing, and I wanted him so bad, I was aching for him.
And then I screwed up.
I just couldn’t stand the thought that this thing between us that felt so beautiful could turn into that ugly roaring and screaming I used to hear at the territory. When I was a kid, it used to wake me up at night. I’d jam a pillow against my ears, trying to block it out. I didn’t know what it was, just that it was connected to the reason why the women always looked so miserable in their harems.
But Beau said he’d never hurt me, and I think I believe him. This man who’s strong enough to throw two bears out on their asses is so gentle with me.
But what if…what if things are different after we mate? What if some guys are kind until they possess you?
My mom’s parting words burn my ears again:
Don’t give your heart away to a man.
Beau slips outside ahead of me. I think he wants to give me some privacy. And I’m grateful for it. I take my time freshening up, brushing my hair which has gotten very mussed. Not a whole lot I can do about my drenched panties right now.
I takeout a plastic bag from my backpack, full of the wet clothes I was wearing yesterday. I figure I’ll go wash them in the river, see if Beau has a drying rack I can use.
I wonder what he’s thinking about me now. He was treating me like I was a woman, but now he’s probably thinking I’m just a silly little girl. He proudly hooks up with girls every time he stops in a new town, brings them back to his bus. Drives them wild.
Bile rises up in my throat. I can’t stand the thought of him being with other women. It’s dumb. He’s a decade older than me. Of course he’s been with a ton of women. And of course he’s not the settling down kind, he’s made that clear. He must have had women falling at his feet all his life. Guess he’s a guy who doesn’t want to have a mate.
Just as well I didn’t let him fuck me, I think, as I step outside the van.
Beau has pulled a grill out of somewhere, and the coals are already glowing hot.
“Getting her cranked up for dinner.” He throws me a lazy grin when I emerge, like there’s not a single tense thought in his mind.
I wave the plastic bag awkwardly. “Going to go wash some clothes.”
He frowns. “In the river?”
“Yup. I’ve washed clothes in the river all my life,” I mutter. Now I feel even more ashamed.
“Okay.” He shrugs carelessly.
I headover to the riverbank. It’s near twilight, and the water is dark now. So different from the shimmering gold of the morning.
Did all of this happen in a single day? It’s so weird. I feel like Beau and I have known each other for a long time. For forever, really. But less than twenty-four hours ago, I couldn’t even have imagined meeting someone like him.
I scramble down the side of the bank and dunk my clothes in the flow of the water. The mud is sticky, like it was on my skin. I hold the clothes up, examine them critically in the fading light. Maybe when I’ve done a few shifts at the bar, I’ll be able to go shopping, buy some less embarrassing stuff.
When I get back, Beau is hard at work at the grill. A bunch of meat is cooking and it smells all kinds of awesome. Guilt flows through me as I remember this is the second time he’s cooked for me today. “Let me take over,” I say.
“This?” He points his cooking tongs at the grill. “Nope. Barbecuing is guys’ work. I put out a clothes rack for you, on the other side of Bertha.” He tilts his head in the general direction. “And if you want something to do, go grab us a couple of beers from the fridge.”
I lay out my clothes, select two beers from a small but tidy fridge, dig out a couple of plates and some silverware, and bring everything outside.
It’s dark by the time dinner is ready. Beau turns on a light at the edge of the awning, and it casts a soft glow over the surroundings.
“One more thing.” He darts inside and returns with a candle in a jar, which he positions in the middle of the table.
“Like it?” The glance he throws me is tinged with uncertainty. “Only, I don’t normally have company.”
“It’s…it’s perfect,” I say, thinking it’s the most romantic thing I’ve seen in my life. My silly heart flutters as I sit down opposite him.