First Real Kiss

But that day was different. They got worse. And the world got louder, like the ocean was right inside my ears. Underneath my feet, the library floor bucked. It was an old library, built about the time they started the town. The kind with pillars and wooden floors that clunked extra loud when you ventured into the uncool book sections like self-help. It wasn’t like the place was ready to fall down, though. I didn’t even worry when I saw a few people running out the front door.

But I should have.

Then, I heard the loud crack and saw the ceiling beam start to fall, and the plaster get all powdery and fall down, and chunks of it land on the movies section. I turned toward the exit.

But the floor beside me fell in, and I had to jump, and then I had to move faster to the side, and then I slipped and landed on my back. Smackdown.

Before I could even roll over so I could stand up, a heavy beam fell from the ceiling. It landed right across my hips. It was super heavy, and I felt some bones crunch.

The pain didn’t hit me then, but I couldn’t move out from under the big board. I couldn’t move my legs. I couldn’t breathe very well because of all the dust, but I knew the rest of the library was going to fall down. The whole second floor was going to come down and land on me, all the books and magazines and research shelves from upstairs and everything—it was all going to fall. On me.

I couldn’t move. It was weird how slow everything got. I wished I could tell Mom I love her. And Dad, too. I vaguely wondered how the next book in the series I was reading would end.

I’d always heard that after you die, you go somewhere nice and there are people there you love, so not to worry too much, but right then—guess what. I was worried. I wanted to see my mom. A lot. She’d be pretty sad if I died.

Then, I heard a voice yelling at me. “Are you okay?” By then, the lights were out, and it was hazy from the rubble falling. But the guy’s voice asked me again if I was okay.

I said, “I can’t move.”

“Hold on,” he said. Then, he shoved the heavy beam off me. “You need a stretcher, but there’s no time to go get one. Can you trust me?” When I nodded, he lifted me up, like I was a little kid getting carried to my bed. I put my arms around his neck and held on. I floated in and out of consciousness due to the pain.

I don’t know who he was. He didn’t have on a firefighter’s uniform, but he had to be a rescue worker of some kind. Even though he looked young-ish, college age, he knew exactly what to do. My hips hurt A LOT. I couldn’t walk, for sure. He held me tight and carried me out through the dusty air into the night. My hands were behind his neck, but I wanted for some crazy reason to touch the corner of his mouth. It looked so tense.

“Everything is going to be all right. I’ve got you. Have hope.”

Outside, a bunch of people were standing around an ambulance. They saw us and ran over to us. I stayed in his arms while he explained to them what had happened.

“We’ll call her parents.” They took me and put me on a stretcher, then lifted me into the ambulance. “Thanks. We’ve got her now.” They waved him off and put me in an ambulance, where they asked my name.

The pain was really starting to hit me then. I closed my eyes.

One of them said, “Crushed pelvis.”

Another said, “It’s severe.”

“More like smithereens,” the first one said.

Another must have thought I was sleeping because he said, “Internal damage is likely. What about having children?”

The first one shook his head.

I squeezed my eyes, and a hot tear leaked down my cheek. I went to sleep for a while.

The medical people must have called Mom and Dad, because they met me at the hospital. They had to make all the decisions about me. I was awake for a lot of it, but the X-ray showed that my hips and pelvis were crushed, just like they said—to smithereens.

They said I’ll need a lot of surgeries.

That was last month. I have had three surgeries already. I have three more coming. I guess I won’t be heading back to school for fall semester. I was going to be a freshman. Dad said if there’s any grade you want to skip part of, it’s freshman year.

I turn fourteen soon. But I’ll be in the hospital.

I guess I won’t get to be on the track team. People who can’t walk don’t get to be on the track team.

What no one is telling me is about the other parts of me. Like, the parts between my hips. Yeah, I’m too young to have kids now. But I did always think I’d be a mom someday.

Stupid earthquake.

Something wet crept across my neck, and I swiped at it. Yeah, it was a tear, joined by about a hundred of her best friends. A tear-party right there on my face and neck, and getting my shirt wet.