First Real Kiss

“Sheridan.”

Argh. “I was starting my coaching practice. I was planning a wedding. I didn’t need a big downer conversation confirming once and for all what I already knew in my heart. I needed positive energy to keep me afloat.”

“Sheridan!” Jane threw her head back and growled at the sky. “Don’t take this wrong. Sometimes you’re the most ridiculous person I know.”

“Is there a right way to take that?”

“So, what you’re saying is you were so bummed about settling for marrying Case Chandler, that you couldn’t bear the thought of having your health examined?”

“Case didn’t want kids.” There it was, lying on the bench between us, like the dead fish of information that it was. “It’s what made choosing to marry him easy.”

“While you were married, did you try for kids? Did you try not for kids?”

“These are kind of personal questions to be asking in a public park.”

“You’re the one who brought it up in a public park.” Jane’s voice rose another notch. “Spill it. It’s in the past, but your whole future could hinge on it.”

I bit my lip. My nose was getting tingly, like it might run, or like I might cry. “Case was gone a lot. He had his job and his flight hobby. The views, you know.”

“Case was a fool.”

I couldn’t really argue that. “He was … dedicated.”

“He was a lunatic. Your mom and I cried so much the day you almost left on your honeymoon.”

What? Oh, right. Case and I hadn’t actually left on our honeymoon. We’d been packed and ready for the cruise I’d chosen, when Case had received a phone call inviting him to a last-minute photo shoot of the Atacama Desert in the Andes. He’d asked if I minded.

I hadn’t minded.

I’d never minded when he up and left. There’d been no real consistent chance to try or not try for a baby during those two years we spent married.

And then, he was gone. Forever.

“Jane, I heard the paramedics while I was on the stretcher in the ambulance after I was brought from the library. They were pretty clear. You remember—my hips were, as they said, in smithereens.”

“Hip bones. Not the same as the stuff between them.”

But—“I didn’t get pregnant while I was married. It’s a sign.” Well, maybe it wasn’t a sign. Maybe it was just nature. “I can’t put Luke through that.”

A softness came into Jane’s features. “My friend.” Her tone was maternal, guiding. “What do your parents say?”

“I haven’t told them. Why would I break their hearts like that?”

Jane’s frown was piteous, and she shook her head, evaluating the situation. Possibly judging me. I’d be judging me.

“Always protecting someone else, Sheridan. Always helping someone else. That’s not healthy. It’s time for you to be strong for you. Get a second opinion. Especially since you never got an official first opinion.”

“My opinion is the first opinion.”

“You may be a life coach, but you’re not a medical doctor.”

Why did Jane have to be so blunt? “I’ll think about it.”

“I need more commitment than that. Sheridan, it’s not just your future happiness on the line here. Luke’s is at stake, too.”

Ooh, she knew how to aim at my fleshy underbelly: mention the feelings of others.

“Look, I get what you’re saying. I do. But I’m self-employed. Insurance isn’t in my budget.”