“Don’t be, Kat. It’s my problem. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“But…”
“Nope. No buts, Kat. Trust me. It will all be alright. I’ll be fine and so will you.”
“Thank you.”
“No…thank you.” I let the silence spread between us like an island splitting us apart until I can’t stand it. I feel lonely not hearing her soft, sweet voice. The sharp edge that makes me wonder what she’ll be like when we make love. She’s got a spicy side as well as sweet. And I like it.
“Kat?” I ask her, hoping she’s not asleep yet. I feel compelled to find out more about her. I want to know it all.
“Yeah?”
“Can you tell me something about yourself? Something that you’ve never told anyone else?”
There’s no sound in the dark and I hold my breath, unsure if she’ll actually answer.
But finally her soft voice whispers, “I told you that my fiancé was killed right?”
I nod my head, forgetting that it’s dark and she can’t see me. But she doesn’t seem to need to see. “You did.”
“I didn’t tell you or anyone else that John had already slept with another woman and he was meeting her in the city. He left me for her. He said I wasn’t enough. Not sexy enough, not smart enough, not good enough. And that’s why he left.”
“Shit!” I curse under my breath. “You know he just said that to be a dick. Because he wasn’t a big enough man to admit he made a mistake and he needed someone to blame his indiscretions on. And since you loved him, you were an easy target. He knew it would hurt you. What a dick!”
She giggles. “Yeah. He kinda was. But it was so hard after he died. Nobody believed me when I said he left me for someone else. Or like his mother, they said if I had kept him happy, he wouldn’t have left. He wouldn’t have been killed in that accident.”
“Those were his choices. You can’t make someone else’s decisions for them. He was a coward. If he’d been a real man he would have owned up to his own inadequacies. Not dumped them on a woman who loved him. Who hurt when he ground her heart into the dust. I won’t ever do that, Kat. Your heart and every other part of you are safe with me.”
“Thank you,” she whispers roughly and I can hear the ragged tears she’s barely suppressing.
“Don’t worry about it, princess. I’m just happy you told me. I’ll make sure you never regret being with me.”
She nods her head and sighs, settling in next to me. “That would never happen.”
“You can’t make that decision before being in that moment.”
Her head rests on my chest and I let myself imagine that we’re out enjoying our night together.
“I think that I made the right decision with you, Ronan. I think you’re just about the most perfect man I’ve ever met.”
I don’t want to disabuse her of that notion.
I’m not perfect. Not even close. And I hope when she figures it out, she’ll feel like she’s done a good thing, like she’s got her life under control.
Like she can’t live without me as I’m fast realizing I can’t live without her.
“My name’s Katrina,” she whispers into the dark. And I smile. That has to be the most perfect name I’ve ever heard.
“Katrina. It suits you.” Is all I say. But inside I’m leaping for joy, knowing that she trusts me.