Tugging on my arm, Cyn pulled me through the entrance to Lexie’s.
“Well, what did he say? You can’t expect me to witness what I just did and then not tell me what that bit at the end was.”
She scowled at a negligee that was hanging closest to us. “Nothing much. One of these days, I’m going to slap a wax strip on his balls and then rip it off while he screams and begs for mercy.”
Seeing how irritated she was by what’d happened, I waved my arm in a circle. “Okay, you’ve brought me to a wonderland of underwear. Tell me where to start.”
She tugged me over to the shorter, lacier nighties with a chuckle.
“You’ll want a couple of these to begin with.”
We’d been selecting stuff for almost half an hour when my brain returned to something she’d said.
“Cyn, I need to get waxed.”
She was reaching up for a teddy as I said it but froze and looked at me over her shoulder. “You’re not thinking of doing it yourself, are you? Don’t forget what that daft twat Sadie did when she fell for that, and she waxed her nunny and her arse shut.”
No one could forget that story. No one!
“No, you’ve put me off even attempting to do it by myself for life. Would you be okay to go to Delicious Divas with me if I can get an appointment?”
“Sure,” she shrugged. “See if you can fit me in at the same time. It’ll be like a minge bonding session.”
I made a face as I pulled my phone out. “I hate that word. It just makes it sound so gross and disgusting.”
“Minge?”
“Yeah. It’s like the ‘c’ word for me.” I hit the number for work and waited.
“I hate the ‘c’ word and wish it’d never been invented.”
We agreed on that.
Fortunately, the lady who did the waxing had a free hour that afternoon, so after we paid for the underwear and went for lunch, we drove back to Piersville and dropped into Delicious Divas.
I can’t say I enjoyed getting waxed, but it beat shaving it and worrying that I’d missed a spot. Whereas I made noises each time the strip was pulled off my skin, Cyn could lie back and tell us a story about something her son Wick had done the day before. Hell, her voice didn’t even change when the hair was ripped off her body.
Afterward, she dropped me off and held up her hand for a high five.
“Now, go and rock his world and give his todger a workout.”
The smile that’d been working its way onto my face froze.
“Todger means penis. You know, his Johnson? His Dick Van Dyke?”
“Ahh, I thought it was a machine or a tool.” I mean, it kind of sounded like one. “I can’t wait to see his reaction to my new underwear.”
I got out of the car and blew her a kiss.
“Just hope your dad doesn’t bring home another puppy and end up in your spare room again,” she shouted before she burst out laughing and drove off, leaving me glaring in the direction of my parents’ home, almost daring him to ruin my plans.
Dad had gone back home this morning, and now that I had Mark all to myself, I wanted to show him at least one of my surprises.