The Godparent Trap

I flicked his arm away in annoyance. “Remind me why I’m friends with you two again?”

“Because you love us!” Monica blew me a kiss and then detached herself from her husband. “Thanks for watching the kids again tonight. It’s been so long…”

“So long,” he echoed. “Because we both decided two-minute shower sex doesn’t count—”

“No,” she interrupted. “I decided that when you say hurry, get there, it takes away all of the romance, and when your kids are banging on the bathroom door, it’s kinda hard to feel blissed out.”

“Mommmmmyyyyy, I need my Lucky Charms!” Brooks said in a perfect imitation of their three-year-old, and then, “I’ll be your lucky charm.” All low and seductive.

“Yeah, could have gone my entire life without witnessing this moment.” I pointed between the two of them. “Why are you even still here? It’s your ten-year anniversary! Go eat Lucky Charms and have your weird shower sex!”

Monica’s face fell. I knew what she was going to say before she even said it. “I feel guilty leaving the kids.”

“They’re both upstairs sleeping,” I pointed out since I’d been the one to read Brown Bear, only to have Rip come into the room and tell me I was doing the voices all wrong. “Besides, Rip and I have this covered. Remember, we did manage to plan a surprise party and getaway for you guys without you knowing.”

Barely, just barely, without killing each other.

“Oh, I knew.” Brooks nodded, and his long, messy brown hair fell over his forehead, making him look more boyish. “I just knew you wanted it to be a surprise, so I let you have your fun. You can’t keep secrets, Colby, ever since you cheated your way out of the math compass test at UW.”

“You promised never to mention that again!” I glared accusingly.

He stirred the air between us with one hand. “This is why we’re all best friends. We take secrets to the grave.”

“Right, but you just outed hers, so…” Monica shook her head. “All right, we’ll get moving. I’m going to give the kids another kiss, make sure Rip knows not to bother you too much—”

“I can handle Rip,” I lied. But Rip and I had already made a pact months before when we started planning this anniversary surprise. We each did our jobs and that was it, no contact. It was easier that way after what had gone down between us last fall.

After I misread the situation, tried to kiss him, and was nearly clipped by a bike courier trying his damnedest to get his pizza delivered on time to the next-door neighbor.

It was a mistake.

Our date.

Our almost-kiss.

I sighed. “Like I said, I can handle Rip. You guys go kiss the kids good night again. You’re only going to be gone a week, and you deserve this! Rip and I will clean up, make sure all the guests get home safely.” Half the guests had already left, because hello, parenthood; when a party went past nine the parents started dropping like flies. “Just have fun.”

“Thank you.” Monica’s eyes welled with tears. “You’re the sister I never had.”

“But,” a smooth voice chimed in, “that’s because God gave you the best brother in the universe.”

I was shocked that I was able to keep a straight face as Rip bent down and kissed his sister on the forehead, then pulled his best friend in for a hug. I would never understand the bromance between Brooks and Rip.

“Thanks, man, we appreciate it.” Brooks looked between the two of us, his expression weary. “No fighting in front of the kids.”

“We don’t fight,” we both said defensively.

“Right.” Brooks held up his hands. “Just… use your words, and if necessary the kids have puppets upstairs. I find sometimes it’s easier to express yourself when—”

Rip flipped him off.

I nodded my agreement.

And then they were gone.

“So.” Rip turned his megawatt grin toward me. “I’ll take care of the kitchen, you got bathrooms?”

“If you hand me a plunger I’m going to shove it down your throat.” I injected so much sweetness into my words he might have gotten a cavity.