The Godparent Trap

Then how will you use them to cook for me? Something hearty sounds nice btw, can’t wait to see what you come up with.

Colby:

I forget, is arsenic traceable by forensics if it’s in smaller doses or should I just go for the hemlock?

Me:

I’m stunned.

Colby:

That I’m killing you?

Me:

No, that you actually paid attention in science.

Colby:

Both it is! See you tonight, honey!

Me:

My balls literally sucked back into my body when I read that.

Colby:

Funny, I didn’t know you still had them.

Me:

They’re huge.

I face-planted into my palm with a soft groan. That’s what I’d gone with? “They’re huge”? I watched in horror as she typed back.

Colby:

You know what they say about people when they’re trying to convince others of things…

Me:

I guess you’ll never know.

Colby:

Question, do you have sex with the lights off and your socks on every time or…

Me:

You’re baiting me.

Colby:

It’s killing you, admit it.

“Bro!”

A knock sounded at my door, and I almost jumped out of my skin. I quickly dropped my phone like I had been caught watching porn.