Out of coffee?
How did you run out of coffee?
And did that mean I had to grocery shop? With a toddler? Was that even physically possible?
“B-but—” I had barely gotten the word out when Ben threw his body against mine, his little arms coming around my hips. “We’re going to be late for preschool!”
“Preschool,” I repeated. “Right, school.” I tripped over his backpack in an effort to get my shoes.
“Viera’s been changed.” Colby grabbed her purse and flowery monstrosity of a laptop bag. “Make sure you buckle her into the right car seat. Ben likes to sit in his old one on the passenger side. Don’t let him convince you to swap it with the left seat, because the sun gets in Viera’s eyes. Oh, and you have snack tomorrow, so make sure to get a final head count for the cupcakes we have to make later and get an up-to-date list of the classroom allergies so you don’t make something that sends a kid to the hospital—”
“Make them?” I sputtered. “Why the hell am I making cupcakes when I can just buy them?”
“Good question. Solid one. Asked the same thing. I’ve now been uninvited to mommy happy hour for being so insensitive to the need to provide healthy, tasty food that won’t, you know, kill anyone. Nut-free. Dairy-free. Soy-free—basically you’re going to need to use chickpeas. I looked it up.”
“Chick-what? Isn’t that a bean?” I stepped through a Lego minefield and picked up Viera from the blue chair. “And why was Viera in trouble?”
“She broke two of my Star Wars Lego sets! On purpose!” Ben said in complete outrage. “And they were my favorite.”
“Viera, why did you break his Lego sets?”
Over by the door, Colby started waving her hands like a windmill as Viera’s big blue eyes met mine.
The lower lip trembled.
Oh shit.
“Honey, no, no, no, you’re fine, don’t cry.” I patted her on the back just as the front door closed.
The hell?
“Did Colby just… leave?” I asked the universe and the two children I had to keep alive for the next few hours while starved of caffeine.
“She left a note!” Ben grabbed the yellow sticky note and frowned. “‘Suck-er.’ Hey, isn’t that a lollipop? Are we getting candy for dinner?”
“I like suckers!” Viera stopped crying immediately. “Suckers, suckers, suckers.” And now the kids were basically chanting.
I glared at the door Colby had just used as her exit and found myself slowly smiling.
I was the sucker?
She had to put up with Banks’s constant interruptions. Good luck to her trying to hit her deadlines.
We’ll see who’s the sucker at the end of the day.
I pulled out my phone and typed in chickpea cupcakes.
“Bring it,” I whispered. A challenge to the universe.