“I was just… Your clothes, I mean…”
“Oh God, Charlie!” Nancy laughs. “She knew exactly what you meant. That is what’s known as a joke. You should try it some time.”
I let out an embarrassed sigh and say, “Okay, but if you try to put salt on your food and find out the shaker top has been unscrewed, you’ll know you only have yourself to blame.”
Charlotte smiles radiantly and says, “Noted, Mr. Hubble.”
The twinkle in her eye is delightful, as is the difference in her level of confidence and awareness. I wonder briefly if it’s just the desk. Was that all it took, for her to feel suddenly wonderful and smart.
“Okay, okay,” I say. “Well, you two can sit down and watch me do all the work.” I cross the lobby and step into the room that will be her office. The truth of the matter is I really hope she watches me. I feel a bit silly and shallow, but I know my body is something women enjoy looking at and I’m thrilled by the thought that she’ll see me.
Inside, I remove my button down flannel shirt leaving me in only my tee shirt. When I bought it, the package called it a white sleeveless cotton tee. My sister calls the style a muscle shirt. I know the definition of my upper body is admirable and I hope like hell the girls enjoy the show. I feel kind of silly, as if I’m showing off, but – on the other hand – it’s hard not to make showing off a priority now. I think about all my protests to Paul. I still feel the same way, so I can’t really understand why I’m doing my best to make Charlotte find me attractive.
I spend the next four hours lifting boxes out of the office. I intended to stack them all in the office, but Nancy and Charlotte meet me when I bring out the first box and after checking the contents, direct me to place the boxes in different places. Nancy gives Charlotte the keys to her truck and sends her to the office supply store, for when it opens. When she returns, I lift out four waist-high wooden filing cabinets and place them according to Nancy’s directions. One goes into the almost clear office and the girls end up emptying most of the boxes into the filing cabinets.
That’s been on the agenda forever, going through the paperwork and getting it organized; archiving what’s old and keeping what’s new handy. It’s Charlotte’s first day and the business is already better for it.
And God, that girl’s body! My mind performs a constant seesaw between finding her engaging and exciting and wanting to enjoy every damned millimeter of her perfect body.
I’m falling and falling hard.