When he stands up and says, “Okay, that’ll work,” everything boils over and I start crying like a baby. He rushes over to me and wraps his arms around me. “What’s wrong little girl? What is it?”
I wail, “You’re going to break up with me. That’s why you’re different today.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” he says as he lets go and pushes me away. I’m so shocked that I stop crying. “Everything isn’t about you, little girl,” he says. “I’m upset because it’s Christmas and that’s when the factory closed.”
I swallow hard and ask, “Why didn’t you just tell me, Daddy? I wouldn’t have decorated so early.”
“I don’t like to talk about it,” he snaps, “and I feel guilty enough about it without talking about it.”
“Okay, Daddy,” I say glumly. “I’m sorry I made you sad.”
“Aren’t you listening? I’m not sad! I’m guilty. Because of me, all those people lost their jobs.”
“But you told me you made sure before you signed the documents everybody had a severance package in place. Wasn’t it for a whole year of salary?”
“That’s not the point!” he snaps.
“Why not?”
“Because they all had jobs and then they didn’t. They all had jobs and I was too blind to see that they would lose them, damn it. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
I stand up and shake my head. “Bullshit,” I say.
His jaw drops. I realize it may be the first time he’s ever heard me use a swear word. His eyes narrow and he says, “What did you just say to me?”
“You heard me,” I said. “Bullshit. That’s what I said and that’s what this whole stupid conversation is.”
“That’s enough, little girl,” he says.
“Bullshit.”
His eyes grow menacing. “I said that’s enough.”
I stare right into them. “Bull. Shit. Bullshit.”
“What the hell has gotten into you?”
“I guess I’m just a little out of it,” I say, “Since I just found out my Daddy is a hypocrite.”