Nobody would ever know what he put me through.
Uncle Lucas is never far from my thoughts, but I try to push him out of my mind as best as I can, battling between thinking and not thinking.It's something I've mastered over the years, but every now and again I stumble and fall.What happens when I bring those painful memories to the surface of my mind is this.I fall apart. This feels different though because nobody was actively searching for him before.
Dominic said Uncle Lucas loved me.I didn't know how I didn't vomit on hearing such an absurdly laughable comment I know not even he believed.After my parents' deaths, Uncle Lucas looked like he left town because he was scared.As time went on though people looked down on him because he abandoned me.Dominic would have thought that too, but he was just being nice last night.
It's been easier to forget everything Uncle Lucas did to me because of his absence in my life.Now the prospect of him coming back is cutting into me.
What if Dominic finds him and I have to face him?
I don't know if I could.
What if Dominic finds out what I did with him, or rather what he did to me?
I wince, as bile rises in my stomach.He must never know. I can't tell him.I don't want anyone to know.
Definitely not Dominic. What would he think of me?
Maybe he won't want me anymore...
“Candace…” Dominic pulls away to examine me and cups my face.“How are you feeling?”
I dab at my eyes and try to compose myself, but it doesn't work.I can barely look at him through my puffy eyes.
"I'm okay."
"I can see you aren't. Baby, what were you dreaming about?"
I shake my head. "I can't talk about it." It's the first time I've ever said that, and he looks as worried as I expect.
We were supposed to go to work today but I don't think I can.I don't even have the strength to fake being okay.When I lay down, he strokes my hair.
"You're worrying me, Angel. What's going on with you?" Dominic asks.
"I don't feel well."
"What do you need?"
I meet his questioning stare.In the bright sunlight, his blue eyes remind me of the sea again.The sea in Sicily. It's so blue and beautiful.Warm and inviting. You could sit and watch the rolling waves rise in each crescendo, and listen to the wavering winds sing to you.I feel the same magic when I look at him.
"You," I answer, and he lowers next to me.
Carefully, he places a kiss on my forehead and pulls me closer.The steady, controlled rhythm of his heart beating in the steel cage of his chest is what soothes me and I fall asleep again.
When I wake, it looks like the early hours of the morning, like the sun is just about to rise.
Dominic isn't next to me. I can hear him though, talking on the phone outside the room.
Determined not to have another day like yesterday, I shuffle out of bed and pull on one of my baggy t-shirts and shorts.
I walk out of the room and see him standing by the long French Windows at the end of the landing.He's shirtless, and the inky black Bavarian dragon on his back looks more pronounced against the contrast of shadows and sunlight.
He turns at the echo of my footsteps, and a warm smile spreads over his handsome face.
"She's up, Massimo. Call you later," he says into the phone and ends the call."Morning, Angel."
"Good morning," I answer and meet his lips when he comes closer to kiss me.
It's amazing how we feel like that couple we never were and wanted to be.