Mistakes like giving Jude so much power and control in the company, and worst of all not just leaving the Bratva, but cutting all his connections with them.
He left the Bratva life behind in Russia when he moved to the States with my mother.That was after my grandmother’s death.She was killed in a crossfire when his enemies attacked their home.
It was because my grandfather was the Sovientrik to the Pakhan, and a good friend to him from childhood, that he was even allowed to leave.
I hate being mad at my grandfather because I understand why he left, and I know he just wanted to keep us safe.
What I don’t understand is why he’d come here, do business with criminals and assholes like Jude, and not expect them to turn on him the first chance they got.
I suppose though in those days Markov Tech was under the care of the Syndicate.Grandfather couldn’t have foreseen what was going to happen if the day came that agreement went to hell.
I won’t deny the danger usually associated with the Bratva life would terrify me,but I’d rather live my life with the awareness of danger than be helpless when people like Jude come to conquer you.
Now I'm so drained with worry I don't know whether knowing Eric's alive feels like an opportunity to find him or a curse I mightnever.
Steadying my trembling hands, I place the cup of chamomile tea I made for my mother on the saucer and make my way to the sitting room.
Mom is sitting by the window, gazing out to the dark shadowy thicket of trees covering the grounds of our home.
We live in Petaluma, slightly north of San Francisco.It’s a little under an hour away from the city if you don’t get stuck in traffic.With the rolling hills and scenic landscape, it has always reminded me of the Altai Krai region in Russia where my grandfather grew up.
He took us there a few times before he died.The last time we went was when I was sixteen. That was for him to return to his homeland to live out the last few weeks of his life.
Mom looks at me when I walk in.Those worried eyes greet me, tear-stained and blotchy.
Her appearance reminds me of how she used to look when she wasn’t sure if she would see my father again.Sometimes it was months before we next saw him.I was often guilty of the same worries, especially when I learned the truth of why we could never be a family and why I couldn’t have my father’s surname.
Her gaze drifts to the cup of tea in my hand and her lips curl.
“Always taking care of me,” she mutters.
“I try.” I set the cup down on the little wooden side table beside her and sit in the matching chair in front.
“It’s me who should be taking care of you.”
“You do, Mom. I just wish we had more support.More muscle.” I let out a ragged sigh and bring my hands together.“I wish Grandfather never got involved with Jude.”
“My dear girl, he could never have foreseen Jude’s treachery.I can assure you anybody your grandfather worked with was always going to be for the benefit of the company.At the time, the Kuzmin’s were a good business decision, but Jude clearly had us all fooled.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I never liked him.I always had a bad feeling about him, and I don’t think I was the only one.” I nod with conviction, holding her gaze.
I know for a fact Eric was wary of Jude and there were points when I am sure my grandfather was too.Dad never had much to do with him, so I don’t know what he would have thought.
“The mistakes of the past are affecting us now,” I add.“And we have no one to turn to.I know Grandfather wanted to keep us safe, but if he hadn’t closed the door on Russia, we’d at least have people to call on now.We wouldn’t be left open to attack.”
I know I sound bitter, and it’s because I am. I’m bitter about the situation.Our fate shouldn’t lie with Amy.
“The blame isn’t just his.” Mom shakes her head.
My lips part. “Mom, Jude wants to take me and the company.If Grandfather hadn’t given him so much power this wouldn’t be happening.”
She looks away from me when I say that.
“The blame is mine,” she replies, silencing me because I know what she’s going to say next.And she’ll be right.
My family situation is a complicated secret in the sense that we shouldn’t exist.We are what people call the other family.The result of an affair that never should have happened and never ended.And that’s why we’re in this mess today.
“This is not about your grandfather’s choices to leave the Bratva,” Mom chokes out and dabs a tear away from her eye with the heel of her hand.“He aligned with the Syndicate because it was a foot in the door to success without the danger his former life had.They were all the protection we needed.Stronger than anybody we could have hoped to have from Russia.It’s my fault we don't have that anymore.Every time I think about your father, I blame myself for everything.More so for getting involved with him.He was never mine.”