I’ve never seen him look so serious.
“Yes.”
“Good. If you as much as hear anything that doesn’t sound right, get out of here. Get as far away as possible from the danger and keep yourself hidden. Call Irina with the phone and she’ll send help that will get you out of here and reunite you with your mother. Her number has already been programmed into the phone.”
“Irina?” I wouldn’t have thought she would be able to do such a thing.
“All my staff are trained to assist in emergencies. If I were to trust anyone to get you out of here it’s her. So do as I say.”
“I will.”
He holds up the gun. “Ever used one of these before?”
“No, but I’ve held one.” At Jude. That was the instigator for my month long punishment. I must have held that gun for less than a minute and what happened after damaged me for a lifetime.
“All you need to do is line it up, aim for the head and then pull trigger.”
I’m wondering what’s caused him to get so worked up. More than yesterday.
“Is something more going on Aiden?”
“I just want to make sure your safe. It was crazy of me to bring you here, and don’t want to leave you with anybody, but I have to.” he sighs. “My men have also been briefed about Eric.”
“Don’t you trust your men?”
“Not with you,” he confesses holding my gaze. “But that’s just me. I can’t allow my inhibitions to get the better of me. So I’m leaving Ilya here with you. His job is to protect me with his life. Now he will do the same for you. Nevertheless I need you to be able to protect yourself. I don’t know what could happen today. The retaliation could be bad.”
“Okay.”
I just noticed something. He never mentioned coming back, or seeing him later.
He zips up the bag and leaves it there.
“If you get Eric what will happen then?”
“The Syndicate will get you both home,” he replies. “You’ll go straight back to San Francisco today. I imagine they’ll want to question Eric before releasing him but in a nutshell that’s what will happen. Then I’ve arranged for them to deal with Jude. You won’t have to do that part yourself. They will honor the alliance they once had with your grandfather on behalf of your father, and you will never have to worry about anyone bothering you again.”
I’m touched to hear that. Hearing it gives me goosebumps because I’ve never had anyone in my life who could do that. He’s given me the door to happiness, a gateway to freedom but my heart yearns to know what will happen to him.
“What about you?” I ask carefully.
“I will stay here until I find my son.” He pauses for a moment. “Then we’ll go back to L.A.”
He’ll go back to L.A and I’ll go to San Francisco. There’s no mention of actually seeing each other along the way, or after.
I’m not stupid. I know what he means but yet I feel like I should ask the question. If only to hear the answer in clear words so I can accept it.
“I’m not going to see you again after this, am I?”
His gaze clings to mine and those ice blue eyes become as guarded as that first night I saw him at the club.
“No.”
“Why?” I breathe out.
He dips his head for a second and when he lifts it the pain I’ve witnessed several times comes back into his eyes.
“I’m not a good person Olivia. The life I live is exactly the kind of life your grandfather didn’t want you to have. It wasn’t about closing the door of the Bratva. It was the danger. The constant danger threatening your life. I am the Pakhan of the Voirik. That means I’m death to you. Anyone who truly loves you would never want that for you.”
A cold knot forms in my stomach at his words. It’s the effect of love lost.
Love lost before it ever really began.
“Aiden, I—”
“No.” He cuts me off before I can get the words out and a lone tear slides down my cheek.
He turns and walks away, leaving me with the rest of that sentence lingering in my mind.
I love you too.