“Of course, I am. When can we expect this baby?
“In March. I’m six weeks pregnant.” Her smile widens. “I know it’s gonna be weird because we’re getting married in two months.”
“Olivia, no one cares about that. What did Mom say? I’m sure she cried and started planning shopping trips.”
The smile recedes from her face. “Nobody else knows yet. Only you, I’m going to tell Mom in the morning.”
At first, I feel a sense of pride for being the first to hear the good news. However, when I think of what that really means, I feel like an asshole again. I know why she told me first, and it’s not exactly for a good reason. The first person who should have heard this type of news is our mother.
Taking Olivia’s dainty hands into mine, I hold her gaze. “I’m honored you’d tell me before anybody else, but why Olivia?” I want to hear her confirm the fears I know she has. It’s time we talk about it.
That twinkle I saw in her indigo gaze moments ago disappears, and the worry I knew wasn’t far away returns.
“I know you have a lead on Robert. I just wanted to make sure I told you in person as soon as possible. Since this whole Robert thing came about, that’s all I worry about. You dying.”
There it is. Exactly what I thought. She thinks I’m going to die.
It was only two mere months ago when I revealed the truth. Up until that point, everyone thought Robert was dead. I couldn’t talk about him before because I was still in a weird place in my mind, and everything was still so raw. I knew from the moment I told everyone what really happened, they’d know what I’d be planning next.
Worse of all, I knew they’d know my mental state and my obsession with death.
That’s the best way to describe me. In my obsession with bringing an end to Robert, I’m not as careful as I should be. Definitely not for a man who’s been out of captivity for a few days over a year. Anyone who looks at me can see I’m only living to find that motherfucker, and I’m not afraid of death.
That is what my sister sees when she looks at me—a soulless creature who’s crossed over to the valley where the shadow of death is always present.
When a man like me gets captured and is held in that captivity for so long, you come back different. Changed.
That’s the thing about me I can’t fix, and neither can she.
“Olivia, you can’t worry about me now.” I shake my head firmly, and she presses her red lips together in a thin line of displeasure.
“Eric, I lived in this world for five years thinking you were dead. Every day I died inside a little more when I thought of your death.” A tear runs down her cheek. “You have no idea how I felt when I found out you were alive.”
“I can imagine,” I say quickly, then shame dips my head for a brief moment. When I meet her gaze again, another tear drifts down her cheek, and I catch it. “It wasn’t what I wanted for you.”
“But it happened.”
“I’m sorry it did.”
That’s how the lives we now have begun and how our paths interwove with Aiden’s. He was looking for his son.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she states softly.
I release my hold on her. “It was. There’s a difference between walking into a trap and walking into a trap you set for yourself. I’m the latter.” I got involved with people I shouldn’t have and facilitated everything else that happened. That’s the bottom line.
“We all make mistakes. That was a mistake. You didn’t know what you were getting into. I know that. If I didn’t know it in my heart, I wouldn’t have risked everything to find you. You must know how much I love you and just wanted you home safe.”
“I know. I don’t want you to worry about me,” I say again.
“Telling me that isn’t going to stop me. You kept quiet about Robert for almost a year, but I knew something was wrong, so I worried. Every time I saw the way your face looked whenever his name was mentioned, I worried. I worried because you used to get the same look whenever Dad disappointed us.”
I always felt betrayed by my father. That’s why I would have had that look she’s talking about.
My parents were in love with each other but could never be together.
Persephone, my father’s wife, didn’t hesitate to make our lives hell.
When she found out about us, she threatened to take everything away from my father if he didn’t cut us off. Since he was practically the leader of the Syndicate, that meant everything he ever stood for. Persephone further threatened to destroy my grandfather and our family. While Dad didn’t entirely listen to her in cutting us off, in my eyes, if he truly loved us, I thought he should have been willing to sacrifice everything and protect us from whatever she threw our way. We all loved him so much and his death was hard on us all.