16
Summer
Ihave that dazed feeling when I awake and it takes me a moment to figure out where I am.
It’s sad to say I’ve experienced this feeling more than enough times in my life. the worse was when I woke up behind a dumpster days after I lost my baby.
At least I’m not there and I’m not in that horrible position where I have to figure out where I’m going to get my next meal or find shelter.
Instead, I’m here in Eric Markov’s room and now that I’m fully awake I remember the night I spent with him.
I also don’t just have the pain flaring over my ass to worry about. The soreness between my thighs is testament of everything we got up to and how he owned every inch of my body.
I touch my cheeks which are red and hot from the memories that keep running through my mind. There isn’t anywhere left on me that hasn’t been claimed by him and it’s left my head spinning.
I must be seriously deluded if I think last night was supposed to be the alternative to my punishment. Even I know I can’t call it anything close to being punished. I’d be lying to myself again.
Eric and I had unprotected sex more times than I remembered to count and even though he asked me if I was clean, he didn’t ask me that other important question. The question about contraception. Thankfully I have a three-year implant so I don’t have to worry. That’s one of the things the past taught me.
Be prepared because they won’t be. They won’t care enough to be.
Ted taught me that lesson well.
The morbid thought makes me sit up.
I need to get up and leave this room. The clock on the wall says it’s after twelve so I need to start the day, or at least think about what I’m going to do. I’m not sure what type of hell door last night opened, but I’m pretty sure it’s the door that contains Pandora’s Box. I didn’t just open the box, I jumped inside and poked the beast that was waiting to devour me. I don’t know what I’ll be like when I see him later.
In a way waking up like this is better—with him gone. This way I get to figure out the next steps on my own.
I release a breath and look around. When my gaze settles on the nightstand I was so curious to look in the other night I remember what I’d found in there.
There’s no way I think the memory chip would still be in there but that doesn’t stop me from looking.
I open the drawer and all that’s in there now are the condoms, lube, and restraints. The memory stick is gone. I’m sure Eric probably took it out that same night.
I remind myself again that there is nothing to achieve by watching the recording, just more pain.
That makes me think of Dad again. I’m getting really nervous about seeing him now. I wanted these few days to gather strength but if anything I feel weaker.
This craziness with Eric has made me worse.
I blow out a ragged breath, grab one of his shirts, and make my way to my room. Thankfully no one sees me and Lyssa isn’t here yet.
I shower and change into a simple t-shirt and a pair of denim shorts I brought with me from Monaco.
By the time I’m ready I can hear Lyssa walking around and the scent of fresh bread wafts into the room when I open the door.
“Good morning,” she says first.
“Morning.”
“I hope you enjoyed dinner last night.”
“It was perfect.” For what little I had.
“Have you eaten yet?” She gives me that cautious stare.
“Not yet. I woke up late.”