Eric watches me as I open the door and when we go in the scent of her envelopes me. That scent like honey and hope fills my nostrils and tears sting the backs of my eyes.
The floor boards creak against my pumps when I walk deeper inside and look around.
There are boxes in the living room and most of her stuff has been packed away. There’s not a lot out like there usually is to show anyone lives here.
“I have a group of people who have been packing up her things,” Eric says. “They’re doing it room by room and leaving the boxes so you can take them when they’re done.”
“Thank you. That’s really helpful,” I reply.
“They haven’t done her bedroom or upstairs yet if you want to start there.”
“Yeah, sure.”
As I walk into the hallway my gaze lands on the same picture I have of Scarlett and me with Grandmama. It’s on the wall. I stop and look allowing the memories to flood my mind. I look at Scarlett and remember how happy she always was. That day happened so long ago. We were six years old, but I remember the excitement we both felt. Grandmama being there was also what made it memorable.
I walk over to the picture and reach out to take off the wall but my hand stills and hangs suspended in midair. I want to take it down but I can’t do it.
Instead I press my hand to the cool silk of the wall paper and I only remember Eric is with me when he places his hand over mine.
Warmth fills me as his skin connects with mine, and a spark of something I can’t quite describe reaches deep inside me and soothes the pain.
I keep my tears at bay and chance looking at him. My eyes lock with his deep blue ones and I try to find strength.
“Leave it,” he says. “Start with her clothes. I’ll grab some boxes from the car.”
“Okay, thanks.”
He releases me and I make my way upstairs to Scarlett’s room which looks exactly the way it did the last time I saw it.
It looks like a little boudoir with all the trimmings to match. She has a wardrobe with her normal clothes and another with her clothes for the play. She loved being in character all the time so she would take her costumes home to practice.
I walk over to the wardrobe with her costumes for the play and open it. I can’t help but smile when I see the beautiful white long flowing elegant dress she was supposed to wear to open and close the show.
Lover’s Purgatory is set in the 1940’s and is about a Hollywood starlet whose lover went to war. They argued before he left and they broke up because she thought he didn’t love her. The play begins with her waiting to see if he made it out alive in the aftermath of Pearl Harbor and proceeds to show memories of how they met and what they went through. Then it ends where it begun with him meeting her and proposing.
Scarlett’s character, Michaela St. James, feels to me like a mashup of Blanche Dubois from a Streetcar Called Desire and Scarlett Ohara from Gone with the Wind, both parts were played by my all-time favorite actress, Vivien Leigh. Next to Grandmama, Vivien was who I channeled whenever I acted.
The play opens in a few weeks and Scarlett won’t be there.
I’m sure when the director and anyone who knows her doesn’t see her turn up for rehearsals or see her around, that’s when people are going to start talking.
I haven’t asked Eric about that yet.
I take out the dress and hold it against me. It too smells like her. I close my eyes and I think of my favorite line from the play. It’s the end. The very end. Michaela asks her love, Ryan Montblanc, how much he loved her and his answer is one of my favorite quotes.
“I love you more today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow.”
I mutter the words and think of how the play will end with the music and people cheering because Nick Fairchild plays are always amazing. But Scarlett won’t be there.
When I open my eyes I’m stunned to see Eric watching me.
I’m not sure how long he could have been standing there. I lost track when I saw the dress.
He’s carrying an empty box. He walks in and sets it down near me. When he straightens up he looks at the dress in my hands and the other costumes in the wardrobe.
“I’m guessing that’s a costume,” he states.
“Yes. It’s for the upcoming play. She was excited to wear it.”