The last time my heart was open to anyone, I got so hurt I promised myself I would never sign up for another relationship that was destined for disaster.
That was James. Disaster was the only way having an affair with your college professor could end. Even if he promised me the moon and the stars.
I try to tell myself I fell for him because I was so weak after what happened to Tommy, but I hate being an advocate for excuses.
I knew better.
I knew it even as he enticed me in my weakness to see him after class, and when he first kissed me and we ended up having sex in his office. I knew it every time I saw him, and I know better now with Alejandro.
Just because I’m placed in a certain position doesn’t mean I have to lose control. The right thing to do is exert ironclad control of my heart and stop myself from falling for him.
But… the difference between James and Alejandro is exactly that. They’re different. With James, there was a point where I could have fought and decided not to because he filled my ears with shit. By contrast, when I’m with Alejandro, I can’t fight, and when the thought appears to try, I don’t want to.
That’s the thing that’s going to get me in trouble and blow up in my face.
Blowing out a ragged sigh, I get ready and choose a necklace with a heart-shaped pendant I bought last weekend when I forced myself to leave the house.
With the worry of Dad on my mind, I wasn’t in the mood to shop, but I left the house to keep up appearances. I bought the necklace because it reminded me of the one my brother gave me for my sixteenth birthday.
Half an hour later, Marcello and I are on our way into the city, right into the bustling nightlife.
I stare through the window of the Bugatti as it rolls down the traffic-filled road.
It’s Friday night, but I imagine every night here to be like this.
Busy and energetic. It’s just like New York, but the burst of culture tells you you’re in Brazil.
It’s great to be in the city, but I can’t believe I’m in Brazil and haven’t been to any of the places I’ve always dreamed of going to if I ever got the chance to come here.
Places like Rio and seeing the Christ the Redeemer statue, visiting the Amazon rainforest, Iguaçu Falls, and dare I even dream to go to the carnival?
I’ll file it on the list of things I want to do when I save Dad.
Positive thinking.
I’m trying. I’m really trying.
Twenty minutes later, the neon blue sign of Equibras comes into view, massive on top of the fifteen-story building, and we pull into the multicomplex car park.
I’m then escorted to the private elevator like I was the last time I was here. I expect to be taken to where I had my interview, but we go all the way up to the top floor.
When we step out of the elevator and head toward the receptionist, Marcello bids his farewell and leaves me in her care. The receptionist greets me but gives me a condescending look as she steps from behind the desk in six-inch stilettos and a fake-as-hell smile plastered on her face. Clearly, this is another woman who doesn’t like me. The secretary didn’t like me either. It makes me wonder if Alejandro has women who come and see him here all the time, or maybe they want to be with him.
Both are possibilities.
“Right this way,” she says with the wave of her hand and a quick glance over my dress.
“Thank you.”
She takes me to Alejandro’s office and knocks on the door once before he tells us to come in.
The sound of his voice seeps into me instantly, locking me into whatever enchantment tonight holds.
She opens the door for me, and I walk in.
She leaves and closes the door, saying something as she does, but I’m not paying attention to her anymore.
I’m looking at the man sitting across from me behind a large leather-covered desk and chair. Behind him, floor-to-ceiling glass windows display the beauty of the city lights, but all I see is him.