I think back to weeks ago when I first arrived and he’d said he’d tell me what he wanted to do with his life years ago at another time. Maybe this is about that.
“Is it to do with what you wanted to do?” I chance asking. He nods. “Can I ask what that was, or will you tell me to wait again?”
He thinks for a moment then shakes his head. “Go ahead and ask me.”
“What did you see yourself doing?”
“Medicine. I… used to be a doctor.”
I suck in a breath. “What? Really? How did you get on that path and stop?”
He gives me a sad smile. “There was a girl I grew up with who thought I was as dumb as a post.”
I have to laugh. That’s so far from the truth. “Why on earth did she think that?”
“Because she was Miss-Know-It-All, and she was the same way the whole time I knew her, which was practically from birth.”
The way his eyes light up makes me think this girl was someone he loved, and a pang of jealousy I never expect hits me. Hard.
This is what he looks like when he loves you. I find myself wishing he could look at me like that.
“Did she know everything?” I ask.
“She did. She wanted to be a doctor so she could save people’s lives, and at first, I wanted to be a doctor so I could prove her wrong. I thought maybe then she’d marry me.”
I was right. “Did you get married?”
“No, we didn’t. We nearly did, but she died.”
My breath stills, and I feel bad for the jealousy. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s been a while now. As for your other question, my other reason for being a doctor was that I wanted to save her. She had a rare type of brain cancer. She’d have surgery, get rid of it and have treatment, then sometime later, it would come back. I thought I would be her doctor, so that’s what I did.” He looks away from me and gazes out to the sea.
His words grip my heart. I never expected him to say any of that. I see him as this hard man, but dig a little deeper, and he’s all heart. The only person I’d ever seen do anything close to what he’s describing is Dad. He would have given his life to save my mother. Alejandro based a career on saving someone.
His long pause makes me wonder if he’s going to continue talking. It feels inappropriate to cut into the silence.
When he looks back to me, the same sadness brims in his eyes.
“She was having this treatment we thought was working, so she agreed to marry me. But the cancer came back, and she didn’t tell me. By then, the wedding was months away. She didn’t want to go through all she did in the previous years, so she lied to me because she knew I’d want to keep saving her. One day, she collapsed right in front of me, and she died in my arms before I could call for help. I couldn’t save her, and I couldn’t practice medicine after that.”
“I’m so sorry, Alejandro. That’s awful.”
“I know. I guess I’m just unlucky in love.”
“I don’t think it was that. Sometimes, these things just happen, and you wish they didn’t.” Like James, but he’s a whole other topic of deceit.
“I guess so.”
“When you start thinking it’s bad luck, you stop yourself from taking a risk on someone else.”
“Is that what you did? Stop yourself?” He gives me a pensive stare.
“Yeah, pretty much. But that’s not even close to what happened to you.”
He chuckles, but it’s not humorous. There’s an edge to his tone. “That’s just one story, Bonita, and you must have worked some magic on me because I haven’t talked about that since it happened. I think perhaps the other story is worse.”
Twice? “Worse?”