I’ve had too many coffee breaks with this woman over shit that could have been discussed in a handful of seconds.
“Is it something we could do a little quicker? I have a mountain load of work to get into. I wasn’t even going to have lunch.” I smile to try and hide my irritation at another attempt to get me alone with her in a casual setting. No way in fuck am I going to repeat past mistakes.
“Oh,” she says. The crestfallen look that fills her face is a tell that she wasn’t expecting that answer. “Well, how about dinner? We’ve never done dinner. That would be cool.” She looks hopeful.
Clever, very clever.But, I’m not having dinner with her. That would send the wrong message entirely.
“I don’t really like talking about work over dinner. I don’t take work home with me and prefer to keep my evening free of it.” That’s the truth.
“Oh God, of course. Look at me, the workaholic.”
“It’s fine. I’ve got to run. Email me the reports, and I’ll go over it. I have some stuff to do before my next class.” I grab my things, not giving her time to think of something else that would engage me in spending more time with her. “See you later.”
“Okay, sure.”
I don’t pay attention to the disappointment that clouds her face. I just head out the door and make my way to my office, where I can have a safe space to think.
When I get inside, I put my books on the table and throw myself down in my chair, resting my head against the padded leather back.
Fuck… I need to get Paige out of my head. That’s still the answer to everything. How am I supposed to get the image of her naked body out of my mind though? I wanted her bad last night before I knew who she was.
Who am I kidding? I want her bad now.
I can’t believe she’s working at The Dark Odyssey.
Last night was one hell of a night. I went home straight after I saw her and when Wade called me this morning, I had a difficult time trying to explain myself without telling him too much. I still don’t want his influence in regards to Paige. He guessed I knew her from my reaction last night when I saw her, and he guessed that I didn’t want to talk about her so he dropped it. He’s good that way.
I told Nancy I was busy. I’m actually not. This week is the only week of the term when I’m not rushed off my feet like all the other teachers. In fact, I won’t be for the rest of this month and well into the next. The reason for that is I spend the teacher prep week we got last month doing everything I needed to start the new year. While everyone else came back and settled in, in terms of getting used to the day-to-day work they’d be doing, I did no such thing. I worked hard so I wouldn’t need to stress when I had students coming to me for all manners of stuff. Class-related and otherwise—the female students’ endless requests to look over something they didn’t understand when they clearly did. The worst one was a freshman girl I taught once who failed all my classes so she could have extra sessions with me. When she offered to sleep with me to get better grades, I knew to keep my eyes open and my head screwed on.
It’s one of the trials of being one of the youngest professors here.
What I need is Paul.
I need to get the shit off my mind.
* * *
Paul’s face as I tell him what happened is a mixture of surprise and apprehension.
We’re sitting on a park bench that overlooks the construction site of the new building complex he just bought. It looks like he’s busy, and I know I’ve caught him at a bad time, but he made time to see me. Probably because I never call him like this in the middle of the day. Definitely not in the middle of the school day. Even though I’m not busy, it’s not like me to venture too far from campus even on a lunch break.
“Jesus, James…” Paul begins and stops. He did that a lot when I first told him about Paige. Back then, I never gave him a name. Now he knows her name, and he knows me too.
We wouldn’t be sitting here if I wasn’t hung up on her.
“It’s okay. I think that I just wanted you to listen. I don’t expect you to say anything.”
He sighs and rolls his eyes at me. “Fucking hell, James, are you kidding me? You expect me to just listen and not comment?”
“Well, what can you say? There’s nothing anyone can say that won’t get my ass fired, except to stay out of it and leave well enough alone.”
“I want to be the level-headed friend I try to be sometimes so neither of us ends up in shit, but fuck… she’s your student. I can’t tell you to chase after her because if someone did find out, it would be shit. I can’t tell you to try and talk to her and find out what her problem is because that is outside your remit. What she does in her private time is her business. And The Dark Odyssey… James, I’m the last person to give advice about not going or working at the club when I’m there with my girl at least once a week.”
I smirk at that. I’m glad he found his soul mate. He and Jia have been married for two years, they have a child and another on the way, and yet they’re as in love with each other as deeply as they were when it was just them.
I hang my head briefly and think about the shit. I know myself. Being in a class with Paige is going to be hard. Mentoring her is going to be hard. Thinking of her going to The Dark Odyssey and having some guy, or guys, with their hands on her is going to make me lose my shit.
“I still like her, Paul,” I confess. This is a guy I can be real with. The same way he can be straight with me and warn me away from danger, I can be real with him and tell him my secrets.
“Then you need to be careful.”
That’s the best advice he can give me because we both know I won’t leave this alone.
I think we also both know I’ve never been one to share my feelings about a woman and leave her alone.
In the darkness of my mind I see her, and I know that had last night happened next year, as in close to graduation, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking shit with Paul.
In the darkness of my mind where all my wild fantasies are stored, I’m certain we’d still be in bed at the club.