The Truth Behind a Smile

A painful smile spread across Stephen’s face as his eyes began to well up with tears and his vision blurred. He crouched down and greeted his furry friend with the embrace he so desperately wished for and said, “Hey buddy. I’m home.” Stephen coughed as he fought back his tears; he could see how much pain his friend was in. Although Stephen had seen him just a week earlier, he only now recognized the signs that his friend may have been with him for too long.

Kane’s fur had grown dull over the past few years, the dark vibrant black it once been now blended in with white patches so that the color was almost a grey sable. That is, where there was still fur; Kane had a few sizeable bald patches. His eyes were covered by a light blue film that made Stephen feel like he was looking at the foggy hills of Colorado in the early morning. Even the skin on the tip of his nose had been worn down and was dull with cracks across it. After just a few moments of standing to welcome his friend home, Kane was forced to lie back down, his legs crumpling beneath him. Stephen followed him down and gently whispered encouraging words, telling him that everything would be okay. Although he lacked the energy even to bark, Kane somehow managed to wag his tail ever so slightly, letting his friend know that he appreciated his presence.

Stephen didn’t drink the coffee his father offered him, nor did he eat the breakfast his mother had made for him. He swapped places with his mother on the couch and sat with his best friend as he had so many times before—with Kane’s head resting on his lap as he gently ran his hand across the dog’s spine.

They sat like that for hours. Stephen wasn’t paying attention to what was on the TV; he was simply living in the moment, appreciating the time he had.

Amelia pestered her son to eat something, as all caring mothers do, but Stephen made it to dinner before he finally gave in to the sounds his stomach made, which were growing louder, and Stephen thought might even wake Kane.

“Eat up. I cooked plenty of food to make up for the two meals you already missed today, young man,” Amelia lovingly scolded.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Stephen replied tersely.

Amelia sat at the table next to her son, a worried look on her face, and grabbed his forearm to get his attention. “He’s had a good life. I know you love him, we all do, but it’s time to let him go,” she said as Stephen looked into her eyes.

Stephen’s father, having had a late lunch, sat at the table but without a plate for himself.

“He’s been through a lot son, and the vet says he’ll be lucky if he makes it out of the month. If you can call the state he’s in lucky.”

“Please,” Stephen protested in a dull tone. “I don’t have a lot of time left to spend with him. My flight back to Texas leaves tomorrow. I just had to come and see him, and then we can talk about the state he’s in and how we can help him the next time I come back.” Stephen’s voice grew slightly louder and had a dreamy lilt to it.

“Stephen…” Amelia said in a soothing voice.

“No, trust me. It’s going to be okay. I’ll talk to my boss and explain the situation to him. I have a bunch of paid time off, so I’ll probably even be able to stay for a few weeks and help take care of him. I saw the way you looked at him when he got up to greet me. He hasn’t been able to stand on his own, has he?” Amelia’s head dropped slightly and shook from side to side.

“I knew it. I mean, you guys have to give him water through a freaking turkey baster because he doesn’t even have the energy to drink on his own. But when he saw me, he was able to actually stand! I just know that if I come back after I have a chance to talk to my boss and I help you take care of him then we can get him to see next month. If we can do that, then who says we can’t help him even more!” Stephen looked around for his parents’ approval.

Neither of them said a word.

“No?” Stephen asked in a broken tone.

Amelia stood up, put her arms around her son’s head, and embraced him. “Okay, sweetie. We’ll do whatever we can to help him.”

Stephen smiled when he heard his mother’s words although part of him still felt uneasy about something. He couldn’t tell whether it was the way she said it, the way she held him or the lack of response from his father, but he knew something was off; he just couldn’t figure out what it was. There was a pit-like feeling in his stomach that he couldn’t get rid of, so he ignored it and did his best to enjoy the rest of his time home.

After he’d finished his dinner, Stephen picked up Kane and brought him to bed. They shared a peaceful night together and had the sweetest of dreams side by side, sleeping straight through until the morning.

Stephen was awoken by a tongue on his face and realized Kane trying to wake up his friend so that he could get more affection. He smiled at the dog and fulfilled his wish, glad to see Kane had made it to another day. After a few minutes of lying there together, Stephen got up and joined his parents in the kitchen.

“Good morning!”

“Good morning sweetheart,” Amelia said. “I see Kane looks to be in good spirits today!” Kane sat in Stephen’s arms with his tongue hanging out.

“What are you making today, mom?”

“Well, since you have to take an early flight I decided to spoil you a little.”

“With what?” Stephen peered over his mother’s shoulder and saw a hefty sandwich in the skillet.

“Ooooooo, Monte Cristo! You really are the best mom.” Stephen kissed her on the cheek.

Stephen bent over and placed Kane in his usual spot, on the mat in front of the kitchen sink, while they ate. As Stephen bent down, a quarter fell out of his pocket, rolled across the kitchen floor, and landed between the last cabinet and the open door that led to the backyard.

“Looks like it landed heads up—you better pick it up.” Amelia winked at her son.

Stephen snickered as he walked over to pick up the errant coin. Retrieving the quarter, he saw something glinting behind the back door. At first, he thought to ignore this little flicker, but all of a sudden, he felt an influence that seemed to drag his head in the direction of the reflection until he saw his father’s shotgun. It had been hidden behind the door, pushed all the way to the back, leaning right against the hinges.

Stephen’s heart stopped for a moment, and he was overcome by nausea as he had been when he’d received that first phone call from his mother. Frozen in place, he began to sweat profusely as if he were staring down the barrel of the gun pressed against the door. His heart started up again, and it began to race, it got louder and louder, making it harder for Stephen to come up with benign reasons for why the gun was there instead of locked away like all his father’s other weapons. He knew that his father was very strict about gun safety and maintenance, and he knew that if a gun was outside of the gun cabinet it was going to be used. The sound of his own heart became so loud that Stephen couldn’t ignore it any longer, and it allowed him to see only the truth: after he left that morning, he would never see Kane again.