Violent Things

Bates

I eyedthe set of knives in the display.

I knew it would be so much easier to finish carving the motherfucker in the basement with something as sharp as these, but I wanted it to hurt.

My pretty girl didn’t know it, but I managed to find one of the bastards that hurt her the night I met her, and I’ve been keeping him on the proverbial ice for our anniversary.

We’d been ‘tight’ for a couple of years now, and while technically she had a hard time acknowledging it after the whole Rebecca fuck up, I knew that reminding her with the special gift would help her put her faith and trust back in me.

Besides, I didn’t want to be ‘tight’ with Hollis anymore. I wanted to be everything she ever wanted and needed, and the only way I’d be able to prove to her how serious I’ve been about our relationship and fixing it would be by giving her one of the things she never knew she truly needed.

Cold-blooded revenge.

Hm.

I decide to walk a little farther down the aisle and continued looking at the cook wear. Chances are that someone would walk up to me soon enough and ask me if I needed ‘help’ and I would be welcoming of that moment.

I needed help finding the not so sharp blades that would allow Hollis to have that release she deserved so much—the one that would grant me the same thing.

Absolution of the dumbest thing I’ve ever done to hurt her.

Like she hasn’t been hurt enough, I thought miserably.

The thing about Holls was that even though she said she’d gotten past it, I still had my doubts. There were nights when we were in my bed and she wouldn’t come anywhere near me, or shook me off if I got too close.

It was enough to drive me crazy, but I’ve been doing my best to give her the space she needed and tried to liken it to a game of hard to get.

And when I finally do ‘get’ her once and for all, she’ll never be hurt again.

She’ll only see me the way I’ve always seen her.

Perfect.

___

I whistled as I walked out of the culinary store, more than happy with the assortment of blades I purchased.

Some teenager with zero fucking experience offered to help me, and when he stumbled over which knives were the sharpest, I knew he’d inadvertently help me pick out the right set.

I took a seat on the hard, metal bench outside of the lingerie store. I didn’t want to intrude on Holls’ girl time with the salesperson helping her.

Besides, I wanted her to surprise me with whatever it was she picked out.

It would make things fun and exciting again, and might possibly lead to letting me have a go at her for the first time in months.

With a sigh, I set my bags on the floor between my feet and let my face fall into my hands.

The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt Hollis Jones and I had in a moment of weakness and fucking stupidity.

Even though it seemed like she had forgiven me, there had been moments where I would see the betrayal flash in her eyes, reflecting my wrongs back at me, and she’d shut down.

It's nothing less than I deserve, I told myself as I dropped my hands and leaned back against the hard bench.

Spreading my arms out on either side of me, my fingers gripped the surface of the cold, metal fixture as I turned my eyes back toward the entrance of the store.

Any minute now, she’d walk out through the doors, looking immaculate as ever, hopefully with a smile on her face, and a bag or two in her hands.

I missed the way things were when we first met, and I’d do anything to get us back to where we used to be.

Anything.