An Italian Dream

Stella certainly didn’t want history to repeat itself or for Chloe to shoulder the responsibility of having a baby at such a young age. No, she wanted her youth to remain carefree. She watched them dive into the pool, their splashing and shrieks filling the stillness of the early evening.

Fern reached across the table and gripped Stella’s hand, pulling her attention away from the girls. ‘This is all wonderful, Stella. I mean it, it really is, thank you.’

A lump formed in Stella’s throat. ‘I know, it’s idyllic. It surpassed my imagination.’

‘Mine too,’ Fern said with a wobble. ‘And it’s more than about you paying for it. You’ve been so thoughtful with the gifts in the room. Just really lovely and kind. You always have been the best friend.’

‘I really haven’t.’

Fern’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘What are you talking about? You’ve always been there for me. Through everything.’

A wave of emotion pulsed through Stella. ‘This is material, nothing meaningful, just something I wanted to do for you.’

‘Yes, it may be material, but you’ve put time and thought into it as well as money. That means a lot.’

Stella watched Fern sipping the lemonade, looking content as she gazed out over the pool. They’d been through so many ups and downs over the years, and Stella was well aware that she’d led a more exciting life than her long-time friend. Perhaps this time away would change that for Fern.

Stella sighed. ‘We’ve been here less than two hours and I’m already questioning why on earth I’d want to return to England.’

Fern looked at her. ‘You’d like to live somewhere else?’

‘Somewhere other than Nailsea?’ Stella laughed. ‘Um, yeah. It’s a no-brainer.’

‘Except you have Jacob back home.’

‘Oh, I know. I may have financial freedom, if you want to call it that, but I have responsibilities.’ She swept her hand towards the tropical gardens. ‘But a place like this makes me realise what I could have.’

The thought was there about what might be possible even with a thirteen-year-old. It wasn’t as simple as what she wanted to do, though; she had a son and daughter to consider, exes who would weigh in. But this place had already sparked a desire to change her life beyond all recognition.

‘What about your job?’ Fern asked as if reading her mind. ‘Are you going to carry on working?’

‘That’s a big question. It feels like I’ve been handed an opportunity – I have been given an opportunity – to take my life in my hands and do what I want. I like my job though, I love going to work and feeling as if I’ve accomplished something, paid for things myself, like the mortgage and being able to raise Jacob on my own. I don’t need Rhod’s financial help – I mean, it helps and it shouldn’t be just me shouldering everything, but I’ve never wanted to feel like I have to rely on him. And now of course…’ She watched Chloe and Amber giggling together as they looked in the direction of the pool house. She wondered if the fit gardener was there, catching their flirtatious attention. She turned back to Fern. ‘I want more from life. I know there’s the saying that money doesn’t buy happiness, but…’ She gestured around them.

‘Well yes, this place must be worth millions.’ Fern smiled, closed her eyes and lifted her face to the retreating sun. She opened her eyes again. ‘But you’re happy, aren’t you? I mean, before you won?’

‘Yes, life was fine…’ Laughter erupted from Chloe as she splashed about with Amber. That’s what Stella wanted: youthful energy and the ability to not have to worry about anything. ‘The money will certainly make life easier,’ she said instead. ‘But perhaps the things I want are the things that money can’t buy.’

Fern pushed her sunglasses into her blonde hair and frowned. She always had been pretty and Stella still envied her friend’s delicate features, which often made her seem fragile, but gave her an understated beauty that Stella could only dream of. She’d not yet resorted to any cosmetic help, but she was a fan of fake tan, hair extensions and getting her nails done on a regular basis. Fern always looked good, even with her hair tied in a bun, no make-up on and wearing jogging bottoms and an old T-shirt.

Stella finished the rest of her lemonade and decided the subject needed changing. ‘Amber said you’d cooked meals for Paul for while you’re away…’

‘Yes, I did.’ There was a defiance in Fern’s voice and the colour of her cheeks deepened. ‘It’s not a bad thing, although I’m sure Amber told you with complete disdain.’

‘He’s a grown man, Fern. You don’t need to look after him.’

‘I know, but it’s what I’ve always done. Looked after him and the girls.’

A melancholy threaded through her words. Stella was conscious that she needed to tread carefully.

‘You should think about yourself for once,’ she eventually said.

They both fell silent. Stella poured more lemonade and watched Fern as she gazed across the pool to the green-clad hillside, hazy in the softening light.

Chloe and Amber emerged from the pool and dripped water onto the stone paving. They continued to laugh together as they headed towards the pool room to dry off. Ormore likely to harass the poor gardener, Stella thought.

‘I feel like I’m drifting.’ With the girls’ chatter now distant, Fern’s voice was loud in the quiet of the pool terrace. ‘I don’t know, the girls were my anchor when they were growing up. They were my focus, my reason for getting up in the morning…’

Stella turned sharply. ‘Surely they weren’t your only reason? You’ve got friends, you’ve got me, Paul, a beautiful home, other family…’