Fern snorted. ‘You know I rarely see my parents or brother, and I don’t have a career.’
‘You work though.’
‘Yes, a part-time job that I drag myself to and spend the whole time wishing I was somewhere else.’ Fern waved her hand. ‘I’m being unfair. It’s not a bad job, and I like the people I work with, but the girls in the shop, they’re so much younger than me. It’s the sort of job that’s fine in your early twenties, not your late thirties. But in my early twenties I was dealing with toddler tantrums. I don’t feel I have any purpose beyond looking after my family.’
‘Which you have done, amazingly well. But you’ve got to stop mothering Paul.’ Stella realised she’d said the wrong thing the second it was out of her mouth.
Fern’s face clouded. ‘You think I mother him?’
‘I, um, I didn’t mean it to come out quite like that.’ She could have said it in a better way, but she was telling the truth. Maybe Fern needed to hear this. The way she treated Paul was doing her no favours, and as for the way he treated her… well, Stella was all too aware of how wrong that was.
‘It’s the only thing I know how to do,’ Fern said quietly. ‘That’s all I’ve been for twenty years – a mum, a wife. I’ve lost my identity and who I am, so I’m very sorry if the way I do things is not to your liking.’
Stella knew she’d hit a nerve but pressed on gently. ‘I’m trying to get you to think about yourself, that’s all. Put yourself first for once.’
‘How did that work out for you?’
It was Stella’s turn to be taken aback. ‘Yeah, I’m not proud of two failed marriages and countless failed relationships, but I certainly wasn’t going to allow myself to be walked all over just to stick with an unhappy marriage.’
‘Is that what you think my marriage is, unhappy?’ Fern visibly bristled.
‘Well, are you happy?’ she said softly.
‘I’m not unhappy.’
Her voice was filled with such sadness that Stella reached out and hugged her. As she held her close, Stella’s heart battered her chest, knowing what she knew. Fern was right to not feel content. She deserved so much more.