FERN
The sky was a frosted grey, the narrow streets of Capri quieter now they weren’t packed with tourists. Seven months had gone by since Fern had been on the island, and it was starkly different to the fine days of late spring. The one thing that remained the same was the company of Stella puffing up the hill next to her, their icy breath streaming into the chilly December air.
The holiday to Capri and the truth that had come out had been a catalyst. An Italian dream had turned into a nightmare but had paved the way for her to find happiness.
Fern had stayed true to her word and started divorce proceedings the week after they’d returned. It had been a sombre journey home. Fern had been sadder than she believed possible. Her heart was torn and she wished for more time, and it wasn’t because she’d been sad to leave the island. Matteo had remained imprinted on her thoughts. They’d held each other for an age in the garden of his retreat. He’d kissed her gently, lingering long enough to send a feeling of longing flooding through her. And then they’d said goodbye and she’d left before ending up a sobbing mess in his arms. She’d cleared her head with a walk through Anacapri, soaking up the beauty of the trees and villas, while the sound of laughter, a beep of a scooter and the waft of citronella candles had accompanied her. She’d caught a taxi back to the villa with her mind made up about her future.
Matteo had messaged her the day she got home and then their messages had become more frequent until they were messaging each other every day. By the time Paul had moved out at the end of the summer, Fern and Matteo were chatting on the phone at least twice a week.
Paul didn’t fight the divorce, although Fern knew that he was shocked that she’d actually gone through with it. It was scary heading into the unknown and forging a new life for herself. Amber and Ruby were behind her 100 per cent. Paul had a lot of work to do to repair the damage to his relationship with the girls. However hard it was for everyone, Fern was relieved that Amber and Ruby were adults. Whether it had been a mistake to have wasted precious time staying with him for so long, she’d done her best for the girls – she didn’t regret that one bit.
They reached the piazzetta at the top of the hill and were rewarded with the sweeping view over the island, the winter sun casting watery light over the hillside.
‘There, that wasn’t so bad,’ Fern said with a grin.
Stella’s cheeks glowed. ‘Hmm,’ she huffed. ‘We’re going to get a taxi to Anacapri. No arguments.’
Fern didn’t argue. Even with their luggage being taken on ahead, she had no intention of hiking the steep path all the way there. Although the island was quieter, at dusk and close to Christmas, there was magic in the air with Capri lit by thousands of twinkling lights.
It didn’t take long to reach Anacapri. They paid the driver and stepped back out into the chilly winter day.
Fern turned to Stella. ‘You don’t have to be on your own; Matteo’s offered you a room at the retreat.’
‘I know.’ Stella placed a gloved hand on Fern’s arm. ‘I’ll be fine at the B&B. It is a luxury one after all. I want you to have quality time with him. You deserve this. My God, you’ve been waiting for this for months.’
That was true, but now the moment was almost upon her, her nerves were building. Despite messaging each other every day and talking on the phone countless times, Fern had not actually seen Matteo since leaving Capri in a whirlwind of heartache and emotion. Since then her life had been turned on its head and she’d gone from unhappily married to divorced and free. Her return to Capri was poignant because it was where her life had changed and where she’d made the decision about her future. It was where Stella had broken her heart as much as Paul had, and where Matteo had given her hope about her future. She had no idea how she’d feel seeing him again and more importantly – and worryingly – how he would feel about seeing her.
* * *
Fern’s worries evaporated when Matteo greeted her with the warmth that she’d been longing for. He wrapped her in his strong arms and they enjoyed a deep lingering kiss in the hallway. Il Ritiro d’Arte was empty of guests and staff, but Matteo had invited her. Despite its size, it somehow managed to feel warm and cosy.
Matteo led her through to the living room where a fire crackled in the large stone fireplace. The darkness outside was offset by the glowing wall lights and the twinkling Christmas tree. They snuggled together on the sofa with mugs of hot chocolate clasped in their hands and smiles on their faces. Fern felt as comfortable with him as the last time she’d seen him, their connection all the stronger from months of getting to know one another. They sipped their drinks and chatted with the same ease they’d had over the phone, the conversation eventually getting round to the topic of her divorce being finalised.
‘Have you figured out what you’re going to do next?’ Matteo put his empty mug on the coffee table and took her hand. ‘You were talking about a change of direction with work.’
Fern gazed into his smiling eyes. ‘I can’t tell you how much I long to hand in my notice. Not that I don’t like the people I work with, I do, they’re the only reason I’ve stayed so long. Well, that and not having the nerve to find something else, but I’m desperate for a change and to do something different. Something I’m passionate about.’
‘Any idea what that might be?’
‘I enjoy looking after people, but I don’t ever want to be taken advantage of again.’
‘You won’t, Fern.’ He squeezed her hand tighter. ‘You know you won’t.’
‘When we’ve sold the house, and there’ll be money from the business too, I’m thinking of moving somewhere where I can get a lot more room for my money. Somewhere with countryside and space. Perhaps Wales. I’m not certain yet. What I am thinking about is having a place big enough for the girls to stay and for me to also open a B&B. Something small, just a couple of rooms. Boutique style.’
They chatted a little longer about Fern’s hopes and dreams. She was inspired by Matteo and what he’d created both here and at his Tuscan retreat. She knew whatever she did wouldn’t be on such a grand scale, but all she wanted was to finally do something for herself, something that would make her happy.
* * *
As the evening wore on, Matteo went to prepare food, while Fern went to her room to unpack and shower. She liked that he hadn’t assumed they were going to spend the night together, even if Fern had every intention of doing so. There was nothing stopping them any longer. They’d done little more than tease so far, that first lingering kiss in the hallway and kisses and cuddles on the sofa. Her heart ached for him. No, not just her heart, her whole body. Those feelings that Fern had tried so hard to bury when she was last on Capri were unleashed.
She spritzed on the perfume she’d bought in Capri in the spring, dried her hair and put on tights and a dress. She slicked on mascara and a wine-coloured lipstick to match her dress and padded downstairs to find Matteo.
The coffee table was laid out with an array of tapas dishes and a pan of chestnuts was ready to be roasted.
They sat together on the velvet sofa directly in front of the fireplace. Matteo poured the wine, the ruby liquid glistening in the cut glasses. Flickering firelight danced across them and the wood spat and crackled. The smell of woodsmoke reminded Fern of her great-grandparents’ house in Wales with its open fires – a rare happy childhood memory.
‘Salute.’ Matteo tapped his glass against hers. ‘Honestly, I can’t believe you’re here. I’ve been dreaming of this for so long.’
The anticipation of what the night would hold left Fern feeling dizzy. ‘I have too,’ she said.
All of her senses were alive from the taste of the spiced mulled wine, the warmth of the crackling fire and the deliciousness of her perfume mingling with his cologne.
Matteo took the wine glass from her and slid his arms around her waist, tugging her close. He kissed her and she responded, but unlike that first gentle kiss in the hall, this one was urgent and passionate. She dipped her fingers beneath his jumper to find hot firm skin. A jolt of excitement ran through her. His hands smoothed beneath her dress, caressing up her thighs.
I shouldn’t have worn so much, she thought as he reached the top of her tights and began to wriggle them off her. She breathed deeply as his warm breath met her cool skin. He discarded the tights. She met his smiling eyes and reminded herself again that they were alone and she was free. She pulled off his jumper and started undoing his shirt buttons. Her fingers fumbled, unable to work properly through nerves or anticipation. Or both. Matteo laughed and helped her, undoing the last two and dropping the shirt on top of her crumpled tights. He pulled her dress up and over her head and kissed her deeply.
Everything was more sensual and romantic than she’d ever experienced before. The longing that she’d had for Matteo had only grown over the months apart. There’d been times when she felt foolish for thinking anything could come of it, but the more they’d talked, the more apparent it had become that they both wanted more.
This is the stuff of dreams, Fern thought as Matteo gently pulled her down onto the soft rug, their bare skin warmed by the crackling fire and each other. Fern lay back, the heat and heaviness of Matteo on top of her all-consuming. She wrapped her legs around him, drawing him even closer, finally able to act out the fantasy that had played over and over in her head from almost the moment she’d met him.