And I like secrets too. For sure, I won’t disregard our mutual understanding, but still… Why does he want it to be a secret?
I thought that spending time in private only intensifies the pleasure when we’re all back together.
I still think it’s the main reason, aside from getting to know each other and creating bursts of tension.
That’s what it is.
I move my mouth more vigorously, lodging him in the back of my throat.
The tension… The tension is the opposite of getting comfortable, running on auto-pilot, and losing the edge of things.
This is about sex, after all. For them, it is. And also me. I also have a huge incentive.
So the tension only makes the sex more intense, pleasurable, and satisfying.
Hot.
Everything else does.
The numbers of players, the competitiveness, the agreement, the emotions held back––brutally suppressed––the secrets, small betrayals, uncertainty, and last but not least, the tension between us. Created on purpose or surfacing naturally.
This is the ultimate thrill.
The ultimate orgy. And seemingly, it’s not only about sex. Although sex is the ultimate equalizer.
It’s about the experience, living through the ups and downs, and the unpredictability of things.
I wonder if they think about winning this race. They’re already winning by getting their experience, while I get my experience. But I need a bigger motivation.
Hence the prize attached to the race.
But what if there is more?
What if they want more than what I see?
What if they cross that line? And want something for themselves? Something that is not in the contract? Something even they cannot anticipate?
What if they fall for me?
The idea––as much as it had crossed my mind so many times––was hardly something I could seriously ponder. But now I do.
Maybe it’s all a game. Or maybe it isn’t.
Maybe they hit me with their charm, tying me to them while keeping me from falling for any of them too early in the game.
Yes. It makes sense. I fall in love. Game over.
Hmm.
I’ve never thought about it, and I’m a little offended.
Does Kai think in these terms?
Did he think I was about to fall for him? Our late-night meetings with smooth sex? Hot sex? Unforgettable sex?
Is he so calm about everything because he’s made it happen? Spending time with each separately makes it harder to fall for only one man. Aside from igniting the tension necessary for wild sex, this could be just another reason.
Helping me not to catch feelings for one of them while falling a little for all of them.