When We Dance

Completely untethered, they get pulled in and out of the water, visiting the land and getting kissed by the sun before ending up in the murky bottom.

Even seashells have a life.

And it’s not much different than mine.

The light grows thicker, fighting back the night while I look in the distance.

If all goes well, six weeks from now, things will be different. I’ll have money. And for the first time in my life, I’ll have real money.

Even if it’s mostly in my portfolio.

By then, I’d be financially secure. Know more about money and feel more comfortable managing it.

I won’t follow my grandmother’s example.

Quite the opposite.

If things go well, I want to do something nice for Giana. Something more than buying her a winter jacket. Something that could make her life better.

I also want to do something nice for my foster parents. They are my heroes for helping Giana and me survive.

And then I want to do something nice for myself.

I don’t know what exactly. It’s funny in a way… There are so many things I could do, but nothing crosses my mind.

A new place? A new car? Yes. They will probably happen. I may need to think about a new life plan after the ten-week period. I can’t honestly expect things to stay the same.

I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on my work if I collect my money and have the three men I share a sexual history with around.

Whatever things we go through… And no matter how close we get to each other….We’ll inherently pull apart from one another. And there will be a price to pay.

A lot of pain, in other words. But maybe not. I have to get ready for it and have an exit plan in place.

Exit plan…?

How did I get from spending the night with them to thinking about an exit plan? Maybe it’s too early.

But maybe it’s not.

If history is any indication, things will only get more complicated. There is a considerable risk involved, and no matter how good Kai is at managing risk, I doubt he’s considered all aspects of the arrangement.

Decisions, decisions… I foresee a lot of tough ones in the future.

I suck in a few long breaths of marine air, reveling in the smell and its freshness. It makes me want a vacation. A real one this time… No staycation. No taking days off to fix something in the house or be there for the fire prevention annual inspection.

I just want a break. Like I’ve never had before.

With that refreshing thought in mind, I drop the seashells, toss one last look at the stretch of water, spin around and walk back to the car.

The first thing I do before handing the man his jacket and tucking myself in the seat is to check my phone.

Interestingly, there are no new messages or missed calls.

Aside from the ones placed last night when I went to that club and I found when I turned on my phone.

A smile tilts my lips.

I’m sure Kai was a little pissed. He didn’t expect that from me.