“Since…” He breathed in and exhaled slowly. He watched me for a moment and then shook me up when he spoke, “A while. A long time. Since my best friend died from cancer.”
“Oh.” I pursed my lips. I hadn’t expected him to share something so important. “I’m sorry. When— how long—" I shook my head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t—"
“We were eight.” I blinked, and my eyes filled with tears.
Eight years old.
I couldn’t imagine what that felt like. The pain and confusion of losing your best friend so young. Not only that but seeing them wither away.
“Cancer sucks,” I whispered as my nose stung.
“Hey.” He pulled me back into his arms, and I felt his lips at the top of my head. “Don’t be sad. Not for me.”
“I’m sorry. I just… I can’t imagine… you guys were so young.”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, and we moved up as the line got shorter. “Life sucks sometimes.”
“Yeah.” I sighed, wrapping my own arm around his waist and breathing in his scent. I wasn’t normally the type to be so touchy-feely with someone I had just met, and especially not with men who looked like he did, but there was a familiar undercurrent when I was around him. It was like I’d known him longer than the couple of months of sending letters back and forth.
“But you showed me I needed to find the good,” he added. I blinked as I looked up.
“Me? But I didn’t do anything special.”
“You have no idea how special you are.” Oh, boy. My knees went weak at his words, and I couldn’t tear my eyes off his mossy ones. “But you will,” he added under his breath. I was dying to ask what he meant by that, but we were at the front of the truck and had to order.
* * *
“That’s me.” I pointed toward my house as he pulled up carefully to my drive.
I had taken an Uber to see Karma. When Linc found out my plans to take one back, he insisted he drive me home after we had walked around eating our ice cream cones.
“It’s a great place,” he noted as he looked at my little Spanish-style two-bedroom, two-bath home. It was painted a crisp white with a terracotta roof and dark brown accents.
“Would you like to come in?” I asked. He looked at me. His hand was still in mine since he’d grabbed it at the first red light we hit and had never let go.
“Joy.” The hesitation in his voice was clear, and there was no hiding the disappointment I felt.
“Or not.” I forced a smile before letting go of his hand and reaching for my purse on the ground in front of me. “Thanks for making a crappy day better.”
“Even though I lied?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment even though I didn’t need to. I somewhat understood why he’d done it.
“Yeah. Just don’t do it again.” I winked and reached for the door handle to get out when his stopped me. His hand on my thigh felt warm and strong, slightly calloused. I looked over my shoulder.
“Wait,” he rasped and swallowed hard. My heart stilled for a moment with hope he’d changed his mind about coming in, not completely ready for him to leave. “Let me get your door.”
“Oh.” Well, he wasn’t staying, but it was sweet for him to offer. “Thanks.” I relaxed and watched as he got out. I lost sight of him as he walked behind the car. I breathed in his scent one more time in case this was the last time I ever saw him.
We’d talked and laughed while we’d walked around the Gaslamp District. It hadn’t been a date or anything. It had been two people getting to know one another just a little better. There was a weird pull toward him I knew could get me in trouble. I hadn’t lied when I said I kind of understood why he hadn’t introduced himself off the bat. But when we had bumped into his friends, it’d made his story a little easier to believe. We’d been in the same area by chance.
And he’d wanted to see me.
My door opened, and I slid out. Quietly, we walked to my door. There was a heaviness in my heart I couldn’t explain. It made no sense why I was a little sad about him leaving. We’d just met face to face for the first time.
“Thanks again.”
“Right.” He squeezed my hand, confusing me even further. “I’ll text you.”
“Sure.” I smiled tightly, not sure I believed him. I wanted to, but when guys didn’t take you up on your offer to hang out a little longer or gave weird mixed signals, like holding your hand and opening doors for you one moment then being a little distant the next, it left you confused.