“I—”
“Before you go on the defensive, I am only saying this because let’s be real. It’s not either of our strong suits. But it’s important. Especially if you’re serious about her.”
“I’d rather chew my leg off than hurt her,” I rasped seriously. Communicate. Hmm, can I do that? Just lay it all out?
“Well, that was graphic.” He chuckled and then cleared his throat. “I can’t wait to meet her, Linc.”
“Soon.” I smiled as I started my car up because there was only one place I wanted to head out to.
An empty apartment was the last place I wanted to be.
* * *
Her neighborhood was quiet and peaceful. Only a couple of streetlights lit the street up. Not enough for my liking but sufficient.
I wanted to do nothing more than get out of my car, walk up to her porch, and knock on her door. But fear took over. Shit.
I’d walked into war zones and situations where the chances of me walking out were against me, but I had never blinked.
Yet, as I sat there, all the words and enlightenment I’d felt when talking to Chuck had faded. I was nervous. Over a woman. No, that wasn’t true. If that had been the case, if Joy were just any other woman, I wouldn’t have even bothered. But Joy was so much more. She was the one.
I knew if I got out and knocked on her door, that would be it.
Game over.
She’d fucking own me. Heart and soul. Who the hell was I kidding? She already did.
But what if she didn’t want me?
Would I be a sad sack from there on? Looking on from the shadows, lurking, hoping she would one day give me a chance? Why would she want to give me one? After how I’d acted. Never telling her exactly how I felt. I’d been an idiot.
“Grow a pair,” I whispered to myself. It was time to walk the line, to stand in the fire and pray I didn’t get burned down to nothing but ash.
Why would she even want you?a voice whispered in the recesses of my mind, and I frowned at myself. I was a thirty-six-year-old man who was emotionally broken on the inside and seriously scarred up on the outside. Sure, I was in shape; I had to be to do what I did. But it wasn’t pretty. I knew very well just how mangled up my torso was under my shirt.
And Joy, well, Joy was perfect. Inside and out.
“Shoot your shot,” I grunted at myself as I slipped out of my car and quietly made my way to her door. I raised my hand to knock when my cell pinged. I slipped it out of my pocket and looked at the screen.
My Joy: Are you going to come in?Her text read, and I breathed out easily.
She knew I was there. She knew I was there and hadn’t called the cops for being some kind of weirdo. That had to count for something. Right?
I knocked and waited.
The porch light above my head came on. Dim golden light brought the place to life as her front door opened slowly.
Then there she was.
Looking like a curvy angel on earth with her hair down and wearing a gray robe that hinted at the beautiful body that lay beneath, cast in the soft yellowy hue of the light above.
“Hey,” my voice rasped as I stared at her.
Fuck, Joy was pretty. But seeing her like that, ready for bed, all soft and curvy, she looked like a wet dream come to life. “Hey,” she whispered. I blinked for a moment. There was no missing how guarded she was. She was probably confused and hurt.
“I know its late, but…”
“What?” she cut me off. Not rudely, no, my Joy wasn’t capable of rudeness, but she was making it clear she was not one to be toyed with. And I fucking loved that about her. Add one more thing to the list.