Joy
A little over a week later
It’s beena week since Lincoln disappeared.
Well, a little over a week. Nine days, to be exact. But who is counting? Me, that’s who.
God, I should have known better!I scolded myself. All week, all I’d wanted to do was curl up into a ball on my couch and stare off into space.
But I hadn’t. It wasn’t who I was, nor was it the woman my mother raised me and my sisters to be.
It took me about eight hours of waiting around to hear from Linc to let the truth settle in my gut. He stood me up. There was no other explanation. Especially when I texted and my messages went unread, and whenever I called, I went straight to voicemail.
I’d been burned once, but this time felt worse. So, I did what any woman in my position would have done after thinking she’d met the one and he ghosted her. I called my sister. Karma had come over with ice cream, and I’d cried on her shoulder until I fell asleep on my couch.
I couldn’t get myself to go into my bedroom.
I knew if I stepped foot in there, I’d be able to smell him. I’d see my bed and remember exactly how good it’d felt to be tangled up with his body. I’d stayed on the couch for two days before I went in and grabbed the bed sheets and tossed them into the washing machine.
Fake it until you make ithad been the motto of the week.
I’d pasted a smile on my face and tried, unsuccessfully, to not think about the Navy Seal who had wreaked havoc on my heart. I was sad. Heartbroken. Nothing had ever felt this way. How the hell I had fallen in love with a man I’d just met face to face, I had no idea. But I had. So stupidly fast. Like a naïve schoolgirl, I’d fallen for his sweet words and soft touches.
Too bad I was nothing more than a game to play.
A way for him to kill time before god only knew what came along.
He's not like that! My heart tried to stand up for him, but my brain batted it away. If he wasn’t a Casanova playing, a manwhore, where was he? What happened?
I shook away all the questions and tried to be present in the moment.
It was a warm Sunday evening, and I was sitting around the big table my dad built in the backyard of my childhood home for occasions just like this. Family dinners when his daughters came home, and we all ate together.
My eyes moved to my parents sitting next to one another like usual whenever we gathered around the table. A knot formed in the middle of my throat at the sight. Of the beauty of having someone by your side, through thick and thin.
Always.
Not someone who just vanishes into thin air.
Lincoln O’Brien was a jerk. But beating myself up about it wasn’t going to help.
“Hey.” Faith leaned in, and I turned to look at my little sister sitting next to me. She was so happy she seemed to glow. And it was all thanks to the Marine sitting next to her.
“What’s up?” I smiled at her, but I knew by the concerned way she was looking at me there was no fooling her. She knew me too well for that.
“So, Crew has a friend,” she started to say, but a rough laugh bubbled out of me as I shook my head.
“Oh boy,” I groaned, “Faith—"
“He’s super nice and so funny!” she added, and I winced.
“I’m fine.” I was meant to be alone. The two guys I’d taken a chance on had taught me that lesson.
One using me to win a bet, and the other… god, freaking Lincoln. I should have known better. Maybe love wasn’t in the cards for me? Maybe I was just meant to be the cool aunt once my sisters had kids. I’d be fine with that. It’s safer, my brain reminded me, and my bruised heart stayed unusually quiet.
“Think about it. He’s sweet and really cute.”
“Hook him up with Karma,” I joked, but she just stared at me.