“Faith, what is it?” Reese was alarmed.
She smiled. “Your son is trying to kick his way out of there.” Faith lifted one of Reese’s hands and placed it against her belly. “There. Feel it?”
“Yes, I do.” Reese’s face was awash with pleasure. “He’s so strong. Does it hurt?”
“Only once in a while when he catches me off guard.” She removed Reese’s hand from its resting place, and raising it to her face, kissed his palm. “Thank you,” she said, tears glittering in her gray eyes, “for giving me the chance to experience this.”
“Christ, Faith.” Reese pulled away and rolled to his side. “Don’t thank me. For God’s sake, don’t thank me for doing this to you. I’ve watched you for months now.” He got up from the bed and began to pace, naked, back and forth across the bedroom floor. “Don’t you think I know how you feel about this? Don’t you think I realize what this is doing to you? And now Tempy is married to Kevin. Damn, I wish…” He turned to face her, frustration lined on every inch of his handsome face. He could stand anything except her tears. If only he had met her first. Before Gwendolyn.
“Reese,” Faith said firmly. “We made a deal. We signed a legal, binding contract. You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t let you down. I’ll honor it.”
“Dammit, Faith!” Reese’s face darkened, until he seemed ready to explode. “You…”
“What will you tell the baby about me?”
Her abrupt question startled Reese. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, what will you tell your son about his mother?” Faith placed her palm over her abdomen.
“I guess I’ll tell him she died when he was born.”
“What?” Faith gasped.
Reese stared at her. “What would you have me tell him? That his mother abandoned him at birth? That a piece of legal paper forced her to abandon him? That I forced her?”
Faith shook her head. “But death is so final.”
“He’ll love a mother who died giving him life.” Reese’s logic was brutal. “He wouldn’t find it so easy to love one who abandoned him. For whatever reason.”
“Then there’s only one more thing I need to ask of you.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Anything,” he said without hesitation. If she asked him to tear up that damned contract, he’d do it. Gladly.
“We’ve only got a few more months left,” she reminded him. “And they’ll be the hardest. I’ll need all my strength to get through them.”
“I know.” He didn’t want to be reminded.
Faith took a deep breath, swallowed her pride and placed all her cards on the table. “For the time we have left, please Reese, do you think you could stay with me? Pretend to love me so I can do what I have to do?”
“Damn,” he muttered. He felt as if she’d stabbed him through the heart, then ripped it from his chest while still beating.
Faith watched the conflicting emotions flicker across his face. She wanted to call back her words. She fervently wished she’d never voiced her hopes. “Please, Reese, forget it.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just…I’m frightened a little. I’m sorry. It was too much to ask. Forgive me.”
Reese said nothing. He jammed his legs into his denim trousers, snatched his shirt from off the floor, and grabbing his socks and boots from beside the bed, stalked out of the room.
He slammed the door as he left. It vibrated in its frame. Faith buried her face in Reese’s pillow and wept. She couldn’t make him love her, and it seemed he couldn’t even bring himself to pretend he did.
Chapter Twenty-five
Reese felt like kicking himself as he marched down the stairs. He could hear his wife weeping, knew he’d hurt her again. He hadn’t meant to, but he’d hurt her just the same. He hadn’t known what to say to her. Faith’s words had taken him by surprise. Her brutal honesty had shocked him to the depth of his very being. Damn him! He had let her beg for his affection, then beg forgiveness for asking.
Reese marched through the kitchen and out the back door, slamming it in his wake. He was a fool, he berated himself, a damn fool. Why couldn’t he do what she asked? Why the hell couldn’t he go along and pretend? Why? Because he was tired of pretending. Sick to death of living a lie. He needed to talk to someone—someone older and wiser. Someone who could help him straighten out the mess he’d made of his life. He knocked on the door to his grandfather’s cabin.
Duncan answered the door.
“Grandfather, I need to talk to you,” Reese said without preamble.
“We were just on our way over for breakfast,” Duncan told him.