Something Borrowed (Borrowed Brides 3)

"1 woke up early," Lee explained. "I couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to go downstairs and put on a pot of coffee." He didn't tell her that he hadn't slept at all after their argument; that he had left Ettinger House after supper and walked to the depot to telegraph William Pinkerton, or that he'd received a reply around midnight and spent the remainder of the night packing and pacing the bedroom floor until he had decided what he should do next. "I was halfway down the stairs when I heard Louisa and a couple of other women come in the back door. I heard Louisa tell them we were newlyweds and that she wanted to surprise us with breakfast in bed."

"How sweet!"

"Yeah, well, it wouldn't be so sweet if they had to serve the honeymooners breakfast in bed in two different rooms. It would tend to spoil the romance. Besides, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that we would look more like a happily married couple—a honeymooning couple—if we were sleeping in the same bed. So I crept back up the stairs, went into your room and got you, then carried you back in here." He pulled out his watch and checked the time once again. "That was about fifteen or twenty minutes ago. They should be knocking on the door any minute now."

"What about Maddy?" Mary asked.

"I don't know," he said. "She must have come in while I was washing up. I saw her curled up beside you when I came back into the room to get a clean pair of pants."

The image of Lee striding naked back and forth across the room popped into Mary's brain. She felt the rush of warmth color her cheeks. She didn't have to imagine how he looked. She had seen him yesterday and couldn't get the image out of her mind.

She cleared her throat. "You explained what happened," Mary told him. "And how I came to be here. But you didn't explain why I'm here."

Lee took a deep breath. "Mary, I know you're hurt. I know I hurt you—I heard you crying last night. And you had every right to be angry, to feel betrayed, and to say what you said to me. But we've made a promise to each other. And despite what you may think of me, I don't take that promise lightly. I married you. You married me." He held up his hand when Mary would have interrupted. "Hear me out. The fact is that we married each other, and right now the reasons we made the choices we made don't really matter. I tried to tell myself this whole idea was a mistake, but I don't believe it. Regardless of how it came about, this marriage between us feels right to me. And I want my second chance. I want this union to work."

Mary's heart seemed to skip a beat at his words. The last thing she had expected Lee to say, after last night's fiasco, was that he wanted to make the marriage work. But he had.

Lee Kincaid had offered her an apology and said he wanted to stay married to her.

Lee continued, "So I carried you in here this morning because I think it's important that we try to play the part of the happy couple for the people of Utopia. If we work at it some, we might even become a happy couple, and if not, then I intend to play at being happily married until I'm able to adopt Maddy."

"Until we're able," Mary corrected. "And if not… what about after the adoption? What happens then?"

He froze at the sound of china and silver clattering against a tray coming up the stairs. "I don't know," Lee answered honestly. "I only know that I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my… our… chances of becoming Maddy's parents." He looked at Mary. "This is as important to me as looking happy on our wedding day was for you. After that, well, then, I guess it's up to you. If you're still unhappy, if you want to call it quits and go back to Cheyenne, well, then…" He let his words trail off.

Mary recognized the expression of uncertainty that crossed his handsome face, even though she was quite sure he hadn't worn one often. For whatever reason, this pretense of wedded bliss meant a great deal to him. It was every bit as important to him as he said it was. But Mary didn't believe Lee's wanting to keep Maddy was his sole reason for pretending. There was something more, some other reason that he left unsaid. And her instincts told her that the feelings Lee couldn't put into words were just as important to him as the reason he gave her. Perhaps even more important. Mary remembered how Lee had allowed her to coerce him into pretending to be her long lost love, her hero, at their wedding reception. He hadn't asked why she wanted him to pretend. He had simply asked how she wanted him to play the part. She had been grateful for his understanding that she needed to save face—to pretend she was a blissfully happy bride. Lee Kincaid had played along for her two days ago, and now she would return the favor. She would show him she could forget the hurt she'd felt last night, forget her anger, and meet him halfway. No man wanted a whole town to know his bride had cried herself to sleep on her honeymoon. No man wanted a whole town to know he had slept alone. No man wanted to admit that he had failed. This was a matter of pride, and after living in the company of a ranch full of strong men, Mary understood Lee's need to protect his masculine pride.

During the long wakeful hours of last night, she had come to terms with the reality of her marriage. She loved Lee Kincaid. But he didn't, couldn't, return her feelings. He loved someone else. He still loved Tabitha Gray.

Mary had come to her moment of truth. She had to make a decision—to accept her present situation and work toward building a future with Lee, even if that future didn't include his loving her, or to give up and go home to Cheyenne.

She marveled at the change in her thinking. Two days ago, she'd been willing to marry Pelham with no hope of ever loving him or having him love her. But it was different with Lee. With Lee she wanted—no, demanded—the fairy tale happy ending. He had ridden up like Prince Charming on a white stallion and rescued her from the terrible mistake she'd been about to make. She had known the risks when she willingly accepted Lee's marriage offer… had known there was more to his offer than he let on, and yet she had jumped headlong from the frying pan into the fire. Could she blame him for the burns she'd suffered? And if she gave up on her marriage and Lee Kincaid now, could she live with her regrets? She had made a huge leap of faith when she agreed to marry him, trusting in her belief that love would conquer all and make things right. If she went home to the Trail T, could she live the rest of her life with the thoughts of what might have been and what she might have had if she had stayed?

Mary shook her head. She wasn't a quitter, she was a fighter. And if she couldn't have Lee Kincaid's love, then she would work to get the next best thing. She could build upon the physical attraction between them. She would use the desire she saw in his eyes each time he looked at her to her advantage. She loved Lee Kincaid, and she was about to embark on a course of no return. Even if she never had his love, she could have his children. She could give him the family she sensed he needed so desperately. She could provide a place for him to come home to—a house filled with warmth and love—with Maddy and Judah and the people of Utopia.

Eventually, if she was lucky, she would earn his friendship and his respect, if not his undying devotion. And fifty years from now, if she worked at making him happy long enough and hard enough, Lee would forget that he didn't love her and remember that he couldn't live without her. Mary smiled. Friendship and respect and sexual attraction were good foundations for a lasting marriage. Lots of marriages had started out with less and had grown into more. She could do it, and she could start right away. Now. Before she had time to think things through—before she lost her courage. Thinking quickly, Mary ordered, "Take Maddy back to her room."

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"Don't worry about me. Take Maddy and hurry. They're coming."

Lee didn't waste any more time. He bent and whisked the sleeping child off the bed and hurried through the dressing room door to her room.

Mary threw off her wrapper and climbed back into bed. She propped herself up against the pillows and hastily unplaited her long black hair. She bit her bottom lip, debating for a moment, before she daringly untied the top ribbon on her white ruffled nightdress and unbuttoned three of the tiny pearl buttons.

She barely had the buttons undone when Louisa tapped on the bedroom door and called cheerily, "Good morning! I've brought your breakfast. Are you decent?"

Mary opened her mouth to answer, but Lee stopped her. He put his finger to his mouth, gesturing for her to be quiet as he slipped between the covers. "Lovers never answer the first knock," he whispered as he rolled into bed beside her. "Let her wait a minute or two."

"But…"

"Ssh," he whispered again, his face a fraction of an inch from hers, "this has to look real." Then Lee closed the distance between them, kissing Mary thoroughly before she had a chance to say anything more.

"How are you feeling this morning, dear?" Louisa asked as Mary opened the bedroom door to admit her, moments later. "Mr. Kincaid said you were too tired to come down to supper last night. Are you feeling better now?"

"Uh… yes… thank you," Mary stuttered, glancing over her shoulder at Lee, who raked his fingers through his thick blond hair and put on a big show of yawning and stretching for Lou's benefit. "A good night's sleep works wonders."

"You look a little flushed," Louisa commented as she placed the breakfast tray on the night table. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"