Harvest Moon (Borrowed Brides 2)
Page 111
“We do, Mary.” Faith was merciless. “That’s the problem. We do wish you well. We want you to be loved and to be happy.”
“I am.”
“Then reassure us,” Tessa urged. “Tell us you love the man you’re going to marry. Tell us he loves you.”
Mary bit her lip as the tears she had been struggling to hold in check suddenly began to roll down her cheeks. “I can’t.”
Tessa stepped closer, put her arms around her, and hugged her tightly. “Then help us, Mary. Please. Help us to understand why you are so determined to tie yourself to a man you don’t love.”
Faith produced a delicate lace-edged handkerchief from the pocket of her housedress and reached up to wipe away Mary’s tears. “It’s all right,” Faith said, patting Mary on the shoulder as she choked back another sob. “Take your time.”
Mary took the handkerchief from Faith and dried her eyes. “There isn’t much to tell,” she said. “It’s very simple. I agreed to marry Pelham Cosgrove because he feels it’s time he started a family. And I met his requirements for a wife.”
“His requirements?” Faith bristled. “What requirements?”
“Looks, education, fine manners, and a certain amount of breeding.” Mary smiled sadly.
“A certain amount of breeding? What does that mean?” Tessa demanded.
“It means he’s the first gentleman I’ve met who has looked me in the eye, took note of my obvious Indian heritage, and still considered me enough of a lady to offer marriage instead of an affair.”
“Oh, Mary, I can’t believe your Cherokee blood makes any difference,” Faith said. “He must really care for you.”
“He really cares about our family’s bank account,” Mary told her.
“And you’re willing to settle for that?” Tessa couldn’t believe her ears.
“Yes,” Mary answered fiercely. “I’m a twenty-eight-year-old spinster schoolteacher, and a half-breed to boot. Yes, I’m willing to settle for a husband, a home, and children of my own. I know the price is high, but I’m willing to pay it.”
“But Mary…” Faith began.
“Look at me,” Mary ordered, “and listen carefully. I need to marry Pelham. And although I’ll miss it, I need to get away from the ranch. I need to get out from under Mother’s wing and your shadows. I need to start living my own life. I love the two of you like sisters. I love your children and I enjoy teaching them, but I envy you. I want what you have. I want a family of my own. I feel as if I’m missing so much. And every day I seem to die a little bit inside. I’m afraid that if I wait too long, I won’t have anything to offer a husband. I’ll be too old and too set in my ways and too bitter—always thinking about what might have been. I can’t be a hanger-on anymore.” Mary caught her breath as she began to cry once again. “I don’t like what it does to me. Don’t you see? I’m afraid of what I’ll become. I have to seize this opportunity.”
“But Pelham Cosgrove…” Tessa protested.
“Please,” Mary struggled to maintain her dignity, “try to understand. I know he’s not what you wanted for me. He’s not what I planned for me either, but”—she managed a wry smile—“as a half-breed Cherokee woman, I’m not likely to be overwhelmed by marriage offers, no matter how attractive or educated I am.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Whether I like it or not, I’m too Indian for most white men, and too white for most Cherokee. I’ve discovered that life—at least my life— isn’t like a fairy tale. Prince Charming isn’t going to ride up on a white horse and sweep me off my feet.” But even as she said it, an unbidden image sprang to mind—that of a blond-haired rogue with sparkling gray eyes, a voice that could melt butter, and a thick blond mustache that framed a most intriguing mouth. A blond-haired rogue who had, during each of their brief encounters, made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world.
Mary closed her eyes in an attempt to blank out the picture in her mind, and when her feeble effort failed, she tried a different tack. Fixing her gaze on the heavy pearl- encrusted ring on her left hand, she began to methodically replace her mental image of her Prince Charming, feature for feature, with a picture of Pelham Everhardt Cosgrove III, and prayed it would last a lifetime.