The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

just like peanut butter cups

and prescription drugs!”

The cat- or dog-obsessed lesbian

“You know I minored

in pet portraiture at my

women’s college, right?”

The radical Marxist-feminist lesbian

“Can you believe the

phallocentric slavery

of this Bud Light Lime?”

IMAGINED AWKWARD PROPOSITIONS FOR THE CHARACTERS YOU’RE READING ABOUT IN YOUR BOOK CLUB

The lesbian whom you’ve time-traveled back to the Victorian Era to ask out

Are you causing these

“uterine fits” or do I

have hysteria?

I’d be delighted

if you joined me for a ride—

you sure are hansom.

Awkward lesbian vampire proposition

You suck! I mean that

literally of course. HA-

HA. Oh, you’re vegan?

Awkward lesbian werewolf proposition

I would never be

so insensitive as to

ask for doggy-style.

Awkward lesbian velociraptor from Jurassic Park proposition

Hey, clever girl! What’s

eating you? Me? HA-HA. Nice

claws. I dig high femme.