“Darling Fluttershy,
while our friendship is magic,
our sex life is not.”
THE TWELVE STAGES OF LESBIAN BREAKUP GRIEF
Denial
Mid-breakup-process,
engage in “breakup sex” while
you are both crying.
Cat adoption
You’ve always wanted
pets named after prominent
artistic dykons!
Anger
Throw out your shared sex
toys. Don’t even recycle
them! She’s not worth it.
Revenge
Compost her beloved
organic herb garden. Thyme’s
on whose side now, bitch?
Sadness
Imagine which cat
will probably eat you first
when you die alone.
Guilt about not recycling sex toys
Remove the sex toys
from the trash. Mother Earth thanks
you—if not that tramp!
Return adopted cats
Vow to come back for