best with words, but I do a pretty good job at reading body
language and she’s giving off a ton of understanding,
compassionate vibes that I didn’t expect.
I didn’t expect anyone to understand. Ever. That hits
me hard and I can feel tears burning at the top of my nose and
stinging in my eyes. I just felt that Adley would be a safe
person to tell, but of course I was afraid. I was so afraid. I’ve
been so scared my whole life. I guess I feel a little bit in shock
too. I can’t even begin to process everything that I feel. I’m so
used to being scared, to keeping everything locked up inside,
that I don’t know how to register that it’s out there now.
“Thank you for not being weird about it.”
“I wouldn’t be.”
“Some people would be.”
“I know. But I’m not. I would never be.”
“I just had this feeling that you would understand. I
kept thinking about it after breakfast yesterday. I just knew I
should tell you. I’m sorry if that feels like unburdening myself
to you and that’s a lot. I used to think about it as this filing
cabinet that I stuffed all the information and feelings into that I
didn’t want to process. I just felt like, these past few days, that
it burst wide open and I couldn’t get it closed back up and
everything just spilled out all over in this huge mess.”
Adley’s lips twitch. “And you said you aren’t good at
English.”
“I’m not.”
“That’s a pretty good analogy to me.”
I don’t know what to say. I guess I’m pre-programmed
to be nice and not selfish, and that part of me says that I can’t
stop now. “I’m sorry that I dragged you out here. Even if Tildy