dumber. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t lecture me. She
just waits. I study the swings. It’s not windy enough to move
them even slightly. “I guess I didn’t want to talk about it
because I didn’t want it to ruin the present. No one wants to
hear about ex this or ex that. It’s not…I don’t know. It just
sounds bad. No one wants to hear about some other person or
imagine them.”
“If you don’t want to talk about a person, that’s fine. I
understand that. But can you talk to me abou
t how you feel?”
It comes out soft and concerned. I turn slowly from the
swings and find that Steph’s face matches her voice. There
isn’t anything harsh there. She really wants to hear me out.
“I feel scared. I was the one who got left. One day, I
came home, and the apartment was just empty. No warning.
No explanation. No note. Nothing. She was just gone. I
thought everything was fine. She blocked me on social media
and changed her number. I had to get a new place because I
couldn’t afford that one by myself. It was a one bedroom so I
couldn’t get a roommate. I was all over the place. My parents
had to help me find an apartment. Mandy had to help me get
my shit together because I lost my job when I couldn’t even
find the energy to go.”
“I’m sorry. That’s terrible.”
“Yeah. It was a year ago and I got over it. I guess. I
mean, I am. I don’t think about her and wonder what she’s
doing anymore or wish that we were still together. Enough
time passed that I was happy to be by myself. I realized that it
was a good thing she left because it was kind of toxic near the
end.”