she had an aura of strength and understanding and radiated
calm.
Even when she spoke, delivering the hardest of blows, she
was still all calm and gentleness. “I don’t think it’s going to be
long now. I’m sorry, Coralyn.”
“Yeah,” Coralyn managed. “Me too.”
Jennifer’s smile was soft and soothing. “You’ve provided
the best care for him. Everyone did everything they could.”
It wasn’t enough. Coralyn wanted to spit that out, but it
would be like poison, and she’d put enough of that into the
world. She hadn’t done all she could. If they’d had more
money, they could have done more. Pursued experimental
treatments in other countries. Something more. She’d never
felt so wretched in her life. All the fight had gone out of her.
Coralyn was worried about herself. She was worried that she’d
just evaporate into molecules that couldn’t be seen or heard or
touched.
Jennifer was probably experienced enough that she knew
what she was feeling. She walked over and knelt down in front
of Coralyn. She didn’t touch her or push her in any way, but
Coralyn fell into the other woman’s blue eyes all the same.
“I’ve done something terrible,” Coralyn choked out. She
glanced at her dad, praying he couldn’t hear her now.
“Something he would have hated.”
Jennifer shook her head. “People do strange things when
they’re grieving. Don’t be too hard on yourself. He probably
would understand, even if you don’t feel that way right now.
Be kind to yourself. Give yourself some time to heal. I’m sure
things can be made right.”
They couldn’t. Things were so beyond fucked up. The