awake.”
He nodded, like he knew exactly where he’d been. “I’m
awake.”
He was already propped up with pillows. She leaned in and
draped herself across him, holding him close, inhaling the
sterile hospital scent that wasn’t anything like the scent she’d
known all her life. He was still there beneath the layers of it.
She fought to find it, to find him.
“I’m so glad. I have so many things I need to say to you.”
She propped herself up on her elbow, still leaning over the
railing of the bed, so she could look her dad right in the eye.
“I’ve done something terrible. It was wrong. I thought it was
necessary, but it wasn’t. I was wrong and I’ve hurt someone.
Deeply.”
She doesn’t know it yet. She’s throwing herself into saving
something that never existed. The way she touched me this
morning, it wasn’t like anything I’ve ever known. She made me
feel alive. She made it feel like breathing was still possible.
She made me feel seen and wanted and treasured. I’ve never
felt that with anyone.
Her dad used all his strength to lift his other hand and
encase hers in both of his. “There’s nothing that can’t be fixed
by telling the truth and saying you’re sorry, if you’re genuine.
It doesn’t mean that everything will be better. Things might
still be horrible and that hurt won’t go away, but it might ease
the pain you’re in. It might help your heart.”
Her heart felt like a dead, tortured thing. It squeezed and
clenched in her chest more than it beat.
“Be kind,” her dad advised. He was running out of breath.
Wheezing the words. “You’re going to be okay.” A gulp for