“I don’t blame
you for sending me away. You did what you
had to do. I don’t even blame you for needing me to come
here. Not for any of it. You never promised that this was for
some bigger purpose. You never said I’d be happy here. This
was never supposed to be my home and it was never supposed
to feel that way. You never once told me we would be together.
You always said we shouldn’t, and we couldn’t. You gave me
fair warning about being hurt and I wouldn’t listen. You never
tried to deceive me, and yet you still tried everything in your
power not to hurt me in the end, even though we both knew it
was inevitable. When I left, I wanted to hate you for it. I
wanted to rage against you and against what I thought was
your inability to feel anything, but I couldn’t even do that
because I knew that wasn’t true. You feel a lot, Claire. You
feel just as much as anyone else. Even if you’ve tried to block
it out. Even if you’ve tried not to. You still do. I know you
do.” Haley finally took a breath. God, she needed a breath. Her
lungs were on fire. She still had one more thing she needed to
say, but Claire broke the temporary silence first.
“I missed you, Haley. I didn’t come after you because I told
myself every minute of every day that you’ve been gone that it
was better that way. Even after Jenny told me that you didn’t
seem happy.”
“Wait. How did she know that?”
Claire ducked her head, but she smiled sheepishly. “She
asked Snake to follow you and keep his distance. He’s been
keeping an eye on you, to make sure you were okay. We didn’t
want you to just go back to your dad’s house if you weren’t
welcome once he knew the truth about how you felt.”